


I Think You'll Go to Heaven

by RaccoonSinQueen



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: A psychotic murdering dangerous sad boy, But also, Depression, Except she has morals, F/M, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Papyrus is a real sad boy, Reader acts like Swapfell!Sans, Reader actually kinda hates Papyrus, Reader believes in Heaven, Sans is dead, Stockholm Syndrome, Swapfell, Tsundere Reader, Yandere, Yandere Papyrus, and knows she's a bad cook, at least on the Reader's end, but only a little bit and not romantic, but very very sad
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-13
Updated: 2019-05-13
Packaged: 2020-03-02 11:46:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 10
Words: 23,922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18810271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RaccoonSinQueen/pseuds/RaccoonSinQueen
Summary: Papyrus can't live without Sans. He doesn't want to, and he shouldn't have it. Life is empty, fruitless, and wasted. The only moments Papyrus lives for is when he can get so wasted that he can't remember Sans passing. Finally, he decides to give in. Gives into the haunting temptations of death... But something unusual stops him.





	1. Clean

**Author's Note:**

> SUICIDE MENTION WARNING: Papyrus kiiinda really has a death wish so be careful...
> 
> I made this while I was away, and I love it but also it's a huge bummer alot of the time. Set in Swapfell. Papyrus is still a jerk, just a depressed one, so prepare for that. Reader is cute, I like her.
> 
> Also sorry if chapters are short, I wrote the first 10 chapters while I was traveling...

For Papyrus, everything went numb after Sans was gone. It was like everything went cold, where it stung at first -- _and oh it stung--_ but then everything was replaced with this numb feeling. If you could call it a feeling. It was more accurate that it was a lack of feeling. Nothing bothered him, nothing touched him, nothing moved him. It was nothing. Life was nothing.

 

_Life_   _meant nothing._

Papyrus had thought he was pretty empty before, but after Sans was gone, any last enjoyment he had left in life was swallowed up in apathy. Life  _truly_ and  _honestly_ had no point. He had  _no_ interest in this life.  _Why was he even still here? What was the point?_ Papyrus asked himself those questions often, but somehow he was still alive.

 

He had to thank Muffets for that.

 

Muffet wasn't a friend, by any means. Monsters didn't  _have friends._ Not down here. But drowning his sorrows in bottle after bottle of barbeque sauce, it could bring Papyrus to the point that he could forget. And that was pure bliss. Even for a drunken moment, Papyrus lived only for the moments that he could fool himself into thinking Sans was still alive. That he didn't feel his dust fall through his fingers. That every waking moment he had to shut his feelings down or else they would  _eat him up alive._

But sometimes, even drunken Papyrus would remember. And remembering when you're drunk, when you're  _open,_  was like  _tearing into a wound._

It hurt. It hurt  _so bad._ That's why he had to keep it cold. Keep it below feeling. He knew if he even let a little warmth in, even a little feeling, that would be it. 

 

Papyrus swirled his glass back and forth, before downing the whole thing in one motion. It still wasn't enough... Why did it have to take so much.

 

"Papyrus." Muffet was always so cold blooded. Even though Papyrus would never consider her a friend, he vividly remembered the night he lost Sans. For the first time in all the years Papyrus knew her, she gave him one free drink. "I'm closing up."

 

"..." He wasn't even close to making his skull go light. "...can i have one more?"

 

"No." She said, monotone, before swiping the glass from his hands.

 

Papyrus raked his hands over his skull, his breath uneven. It was the first night in weeks, maybe months, that he hadn't gotten hammered. But he nodded, and stood. 

 

He could do one night...

 

Leaving the bar without a word from either monster, Papyrus headed out into the cold chill of the night. 

 

It was snowing. 

 

Papyrus looked up to the top of the underground's walls. Stalactites sprinkled the ceiling, looming over threateningly but oh so far away. His mind ran over the thought of it collapsing through him over and over and over. 

 

His shaking breath brought him back as he realized he had stopped breathing. He cracked his vertebrae before continuing his walk through the thick snow. His feet didn't carry him home though. 

 

He didn't know why he did this to himself.  _Torture_ himself. Make him  _feel._ It pulled at him from the inside out, stretching at his very core and rotting it past marrow. But he did it anyway.

 

He walked.

 

And walked.

 

And walked.

 

Until he made it to an empty sentry station. 

 

...

 

.....

 

...

 

Papyrus felt thick globs of magic travel down his jawline and hit his hoodie. 

 

_Stars, why did he do this to himself?_

Memories plagued his mind like  _maggots_ at such simple and small things. Sans excitement to be apart of the royal guard, his enthusiasm in building these little stations, the hours of practice he had Papyrus watch him through. 

 

If  _anybody_ deserved to die, it was  _him._ Sans had a  _life_ ahead of him.  _Ambition. Motivation. Enthusiasm._ He was everything Papyrus was not, and Papyrus  _adored_ him for it. 

 

Papyrus's skull fell in his hands. He couldn't do this anymore.  _He couldn't do this anymore._ He couldn't  _live_ for just a few hours every night before he'd black out. He couldn't keep pushing  _every feeling_ out. Sans gave him a reason to live, a reason to smile! Everything he did revolved around Sans!  _What! Is! The! Point!_

Papyrus blinked away the purple tears that fell on his cheek bones. He hadn't noticed it, but every thing around him had been destroyed by sharpened bones and magic blasts. 

 

But he didn't care. He had already made a decision.

 

Life wasn't worth living. It wasn't  _worth it_. Nothing was  _worth it, anymore._

Oh stars, Papyrus remembered when he and Sans made a promise. When they were young. After their dad had hurt Papyrus for the first time. He remembered promising Sans that he'd take care of him. He remembered Sans promising to protect Papyrus, despite how weak he was. But the most soul crushing promise they made was that they'd do whatever it took to stay alive. Even if the other brother passed.

 

"... i can't do it." Papyrus hissed. "i can't do it, i'm sorry, i  _can't! ...."_

Papyrus choked on his own tears before he shook his head. He was done. He couldn't do it. He knew he was weak without his brother, but he didn't care. With one final breath, he decided at least for one night he was going to let himself feel again. For his  _last_ night. He'd let himself fall into the gulf of misery.

 

Papyrus decided to take the long way home. No shortcuts. The pathways were empty, and thank Toriel they were. The more he walked, the more it felt like his soul was about to decay. As if malnurioushed from the lack of happiness in his life, it hurt his soul to even move. Scenes of his brother replayed over and over and over in his mind. But he almost relished in his descent into grief. The depression enveloped him, but at least  _something did._

Finally, Papyrus made it to his front door. His and Sans' front door. He caressed the rotting wood. With Sans gone, nobody took care of the house. Papyrus certainly didn't care to do it, so the entire place was a wreck. Papyrus sighed. His brother would be so mad at him if he saw the place like how it was. ... Papyrus would give anything to see his brother mad at him... 

 

Papyrus wondered how he would do it. Bone through the soul? Poison? Hanging? He only had one hp, he had options. 

 

Papyrus sighed and opened the door. Whatever he decided, it would-

 

...

 

His house was clean.

 

Sans was home.

 

Papyrus shook that last thought out of his mind. He may have been depressed, but he wasn't insane. But why was his house clean? He hadn't lifted a finger to clean since... well, since long before he started living here alone.

 

Was there an intruder? That would make things easier.

 

The living room was spotless. The TV was dusted. Papyrus's old books were put away. It even looked like someone vacuumed in there. Papyrus didn't even know he  _had_ a vacuum. 

 

Papyrus took no caution as he looked into the kitchen. The dishes were done. The trash was taken out. He opened the fridge. All the rotted food was thrown away.

 

He passed the clean living room as he made his way upstairs. The hallway also looked vacuumed. The pictures shattered from Papyrus bursts of grief-ridden rage were properly hung up, glass taken out and only leaving the picture. The windows were washed.

 

Papyrus looked into his own room. It was still a mess. That made him smile. Not even Sans wanted to clean his room before, he said it was too revolting to even go in. Papyrus supposed the intruder felt the same way.

 

Wait. But if this intruder wasn't in the living room, the kitchen, the hallway, or his room, then where would they-?

 

**_S a n s   r o o m ._ **

****

Papyrus felt rage boil beneath his marrow. Intrude his house, take his things, heck  _kill_ him for all he cares, but  ** _don't touch anything of Sans._**

****

Papyrus opened the door to Sans room slow but easy. Despite his conniption, a wave of grief fell over Papyrus as the organized but childish room was exactly as it was before. Nothing was different in here, compared to the rest of the house. That was because Papyrus never went in Sans room. If he looked at it long enough, he could pretend Sans was still living there. Ready to chew Papyrus out for going in his room without permission.

 

Papyrus was snapped out of his trance by a shift on Sans' bed. He summoned a sharpened bone to his side, grabbing onto it like a weighted knife. He would hate to get dust on Sans' bed, but he could clean it up later. Maybe find that vacuum. 

 

Papyrus stopped after he made his way to Sans' bedside. 

 

That wasn't....

 

"a human?" Papyrus said, low and simple. His voice seemed to churn you. Of all the things... Welp, didn't matter. Better take care of this quickly. 

 

As Papyrus lifted up his bone to strike, you opened your eyes. Papyrus could imagine the sight of a tall, scary skeleton about to strike must've been pretty terrifying. And, he was right, when your eyes went wide. Just as Papyrus slammed down his bone, you screamed and rolled off the bed in the nic of time. Papyrus watched you as you ran past him out of the room.

 

He sighed. He hoped this wasn't going to be too much effort. 

 

Papyrus followed you out the door, and he watched as you ran into the kitchen. As he descended the steps, he heard your light but frantic voice call out.

 

" _What?!_ " You yelled. " _Why don't you keep any knives in your kitchen!?_ "

 

"snrk-!" Okay, that was pretty funny. 

 

When Papyrus reached the kitchen, you reached for a fork and held it up with two hands in defense.

 

"...wow." Papyrus hummed.

 

You seemed offended by that. "I'm not the one who doesn't keep common utensils in their kitchen!" 

 

Papyrus would've laughed if it wasn't too much effort. With a snap of his fingers, two bones shot up from either side of you, ready to pierce you through the torso, but something stopped him. 

 

"are you crying?" Papyrus voiced, almost monotone.

 

You wiped your tears from your eyes, shaking from the closeness of the sharpened bones inches away from your torso. "N-No! I'm not!"

 

"you're very obviously crying."

 

"I'm not crying!" You cried. "I-it's just really dusty in here, okay!"

 

Papyrus felt a cold shiver go down his spine. 

 

_"I'M NOT CRYING!" Sans furiously wiped at his eyesockets. "STARS, WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME I CLEANED IN HERE, IT'S SO DUSTY! IT'S GETTING IN MY EYESOCKETS!"_

Papyrus was ripped out of his daze as you shoved past him, making a beeline for the door. As you frantically opened the door, you only made it to opening it just a crack before Papyrus took a "short cut" right behind you and slammed the door closed with one hand.

 

Papyrus leaned down to your ear, and whispered, "if you go out there, you will die."

 

You started to shivered, chills rolling up your body so heavy that Papyrus could see it. You turned around, your back to the door and completely trapped. You looked for an exit, but found none.

 

"...And if I stay here..." You gulped. "Are you going to kill me?"

 

Papyrus stopped for a moment. Despite the fear obviously emanating off of you, you still struggled to hold a determined and stubborn gaze. It reminded him so much of...

 

"why are you here?"

 

"A-answer my question first!"  

 

"i might." He said, and it made you swallow. 

 

"I-I-!" You lowered your head, staring straight at his hoodie as wet tears fell from your face. "I was col-ld! An-and it was so w-warm in here! And for s-SOME reason everyone i-in this HEAVEN F-FORSAKEN place wants to k-kill me!" 

 

Heaven? Weird term...

 

"... why'd you clean in here?" 

 

Your furious, tearful gaze returned to his eyelights. "Because it was  _disgusting_ in here!!"

 

_Sans brought his flaming eyelights to Papyrus after seeing his messy room. "IT'S DISGUSTING IN HERE!!"_

 

Like ice penetrating his soul, Papyrus felt like he couldn't move.

 

"How do you even live like this!" You continued, wiping your eyes briefly. "I f-felt like I was going to get sick just by breathing the air-"

 

" **do you clean?** " 

 

You jumped at the gravity of his voice. "I-I.. yes..."

 

" **do you cook?** "

 

You gulped, "...Yes..."

 

" **do you want to live?** "

 

This one made you cry, "Y-yes!"

 

Papyrus looked at you for a long time. Papyrus was reckless, he knew that much. And keeping a stranger, a  _human,_ was something entirely new to Papyrus... But stars, life was  _so empty._ It was  _nothing._ This at least gave him a reason to keep his promise. "if you clean and you cook for me, you can stay. alive."

 

You gulped, shakingly looking up at him, before you cast your eyes to the floor.

 

"...are you going to say thank you?" Papyrus asked.

 

This made you grumpy. "N-no."

 

Papyrus hummed at that. If he had any energy, he might've wanted to make you say it. But he was drained. It had been a long day.

 

"that's fine." He exhaled. "i'm going to bed. make my breakfast in the morning."

 

As soon as he released his arm from the door, you let out the breath you were holding. But in the blink of your eyes, Papyrus left, taking a shortcut straight to his bed for what he was hoping would be a dreamless sleep. 


	2. A Freshly Cooked Meal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You don't really want to make Papyrus breakfast.

You woke up earlier in the morning. But you were used to that, that's how you've always woken up. 

 

It was still dark outside and you noticed it stopped snowing. You were glad you were inside because you did not want to be out in the cold. For that, you were grateful... 

 

But everything else SUCKED!

 

Go on a hiking adventure, they said! It'll be fun, they said! You won't fall into a chasm that'll take you to an underground world where blood thirsty monsters thrive who were out for your HEAD, they said! They didn't say that, but if they had you might not have decided to take this little trip downstairs.

 

But it hadn't mattered to you, you were tough. You stuck things out. You were going to own this adventure and you weren't gonna cry about it. And at first, things were going well. You ran away from this ragged and scared looking cat, maneuvered your way past monsters, befriended and then defriended this crazy goat guy with a daddy complex, and then made it out!

 

Or at least, you thought you were out. Heck, it was snowing! Who could blame you for thinking you were back on the surface! To be fair, you never actually went  _up_ , but still! Where was this snow coming from? 

 

Regardless, you were cold, you were miserable, the monsters were even more deadly, and you finally made it into what you thought was a gross abandoned house where you would be safe. Heck, it was so run down and in ruins that who wouldn't think it was abandoned? Turns out a scary skeleton monster lives here and he too was ready to stab you. Needless to say, you were a bit stressed and may or may not have shed a few tears about it. 

 

Ugh... that was so embarrassing... and worse? He called you out on it. 

 

You exhaled. You were in such a weird position. This skeletons was so close to killing you... but then... something changed? You weren't sure. But now he says that you can stay if you cleaned his house and made his food. If you weren't in a life threatening situation at the time, you wouldve shoved it back in his face. You weren't his maid! But... He could super kill your face off. And so could all the monsters outside. If you didn't die of frostbite. So you supposed it wasn't too bad of a deal...

 

But that still left the question...

 

Why were there two rooms? The skeleton monster went into the disgusting room that you didn't touch, but what about the room you were napping in? You had decided not to go back to the room once the skeleton monster left, for fear that another monster might return and try to kill you. In fact, you even slept in the corner of the kitchen out of that same fear. 

 

But nobody came...

 

Maybe they were on vacation? You'd have to maybe ask the weird skeleton monster, if you felt up to it.

 

Speaking of that weird skeleton monster, you needed to make him breakfast, didn't you? Ugggh. The thought still made you annoyed. Making you wait on him like you were some kind of servant! So frustrating! Maybe you just shouldn't make him food... afterall, technically you didn't even agree to it? That would show him he had no power over you!

 

You smiled at your own plan. But in the meantime... 

 

You opened the fridge. You were a little peckish yourself, but food down here was weird. It tasted and felt  _different_. And weirdest of all? You didn't need to use the bathroom after you ate it! You were still getting used to that...

 

You browsed through the fridge. There wasn't much. Most everything that was in the fridge you had to throw out because it was moldy. But there were a couple eggs left, a little bit of milk. 

 

You could make... eggs and milk? No good.

 

You looked in the barren pantry in hopes of maybe finding something to fix with it, like toast or cereal. But to your dismay, all you found was a little bit of flour...

 

Hey, maybe you could work with this? 

 

You found yourself a mixing bowl and a wooden spoon, a small apron and got to work. You quickly tied the apron around your neck. On it, it said, "BAD TO THE BONE".

 

First, you cracked a couple eggs. That went poorly. So many little pieces of shells fell in. You tried to get as many as you could out, but you just ended up breaking them into smaller pieces and by that point it was impossible to try and get them out.

 

But you didn't let that minor set back stop you!

 

Next, you poured the milk and the flour in. You didn't have a recipe, so you just guessed how much you needed. And by guessed, you meant you dumped whatever was left from the milk and flour contents because that was all you had. 

 

Mixing it together, it came out rather clumpy... But you were sure they would be fine. You started the stove and searched for a pan. When you found one, you set it on top of the stove, and then used a spoon to scoop up a clump of the mixture and plop it onto the pan.

 

Now you wait.

 

...

 

That was enough waiting.

 

You used a fork to try and pry the mixture from the pan and flip it over. For some reason, the mix was sticking to the pan! Maybe you should've used some oil on the pan...

 

You did this about three more times, until you finally came out with the finished product.

 

Pancakes!

 

They looked awful...

 

They all looked way clumpy. One was burnt, one was undercooked, and the last one was all broken up in little pieces because it was too hard to peel it off the pan. Not to mention you didn't have anything to put on it. 

 

You sighed. You never claimed to be a chef, but honestly this was just pathetic. Looking at it even made you lose your appetite, so you just set it on the table and left for the living room. 

 

You laid on the couch and looked at the ceiling. Dang, you were kind of bored? You wondered what time it was? From the window, it was getting light out. Wait, how did time even work here? How did the light even work, there was no sun??

 

You decided not to think about it as you got up to look around. Maybe you should read a couple books, that might be fun? You sat down on the floor next to the small table-stand that stood aside the couch and looked at the few books that sat on it. 

 

There was a book on quantum physics. Sounded pretty intense, but not above your reading level.

 

There was a book on how to create deadly traps. Skimming through it made you shiver at the vivid imagery.

 

There was a dark joke book. The jokes made you cringe from poor quality and morbid humor.

 

And lastly, there was...

 

Wait, was this romance? Weird you didn't expect-

 

After flipping through only a few pages, you dropped the book like it had a deadly disease. That wasn't romance! It was-!  _And to think-_! You didn't even want to think about it! You knew certain  _adult content_ existed and was the way that it was, but this was  _way_   _worse!_ And so!  _so_ -! GAH! You wanted to wash your eyes! How does a skeleton even-?! He shouldn't even have the parts to-! Okay, don't think about it, don't think about it... 

 

You went into the kitchen, grabbed a rag, and then came back into the living room. You then picked up the book with the rag, went back into the kitchen, and the threw the book into the pan you were using before. Turning the heat all the way up, you watched as the unholy book cooked, sending it back to where it belonged.

 

You dusted off your hands. Saving the world, one book at a time.

 

In the meantime, you decided to pick up the book on traps, seeing as the quantum physics one seemed a little boring and the joke book made you uncomfortable. 

 

The trap book was actually pretty interesting, and there were a handfull of less deadly traps that you wouldn't mind trying out. It could really help you while you were here in this place, considering you didn't want to hurt anybody but you still needed to defend yourself. Plus, there were some very interestingly set up ones that you thought were very intriguing, but you'd never try it out yourself. You wondered if you should try out a couple sometime... 

 

You got halfway through the book before light had slowly filled the room. Huh. It seemed pretty late. It might have even been noon. Why hadn't the skeleton monster woken up yet? Didn't he have anything to do, like work or school? Whatever. The time less spent with him, the better. 

 

You should probably clean the kitchen, though. Regardless of whether or not you were this skeleton monster's maid, you didn't like leaving your messes. It was rude. You would just have to make that clear to him that you were cleaning because of cleanliness sake, as opposed to doing what he wants.

 

You left for the kitchen and started to clean. You had never minded cleaning, even when you were a kid. You actually liked the hard labor of your hands being paid off by a tidy house. Plus it just felt nicer to be clean. 

 

You finished all the dishes, cleaned of all the counters, and threw away all the garbage that needed to be thrown away. You clapped your hands together as a job well done. 

 

You looked to the table. Your stomach was growling, but those pancakes were cold now and so gross. It was probably getting closer to lunch time...

 

You wondered if the skeleton monster was even home? Maybe he slipped out while you were cleaning? Or cooking? Or maybe even before you woke up? There was no way he could still be in bed even now. You mean, it was early in the evening when he went to sleep, not even completely dark yet!

 

You decided it might be wise to investigate. You could be really quiet and sneaky, so if he really was still in bed, you wouldn't wake him. 

 

You tip toed up the steps of the staircase, before making it in front of his door. You opened the door just a crack and almost gagged. Yuck. His room was so disgusting, you didn't even bother cleaning it before. The thick stench of smoke and barbeque sauce (gross by the way) filled the air, making you want to puke. Despite all your nerves screaming at you to slam the door and run, you peeked your head through the door.

 

It was dark. Way dark. The clouds of smoke made the air even darker. But you could still see the outlines of his messy room. And you didn't see him on his bare, torn up mattress.

 

So he had gone out? That was nice-

 

"you woke me up."

 

"GAH!" You whipped around. He was right behind you! How did he keep doing that?!

 

You were barely able to match his eyelights with the fear running through your nerves. He looked grumpy that you woke him up.

 

"I-it's almost lunch time!" You hissed, backing into the wall behind you for support. "You should be up anyway!"

 

He growled and you swallowed. Maybe it wasn't best to antagonize him. He didn't seem like a morning person. 

 

"what do you want?"

 

"I-I was just checking to see if you were awake..."

 

"i am  _now_." He took a step toward you, and you jumped. Time to take off running! But as you tried to run past him, he grabbed your arm. "did you make me breakfast?"

 

You started to shake. "............."

 

He tilted his head. "i see." Out of no where, he pulled out a sharpened bone, holding it high above his head, ready to slice you. 

 

"Ah!" You ripped yourself from his grip, and practically tumbled down the stairs, as you barreled for the kitchen. 

 

But just as you got into the kitchen, you felt hands grab you from behind, pulling your arms behind your back. He slammed you, face down, on the countertop, grinding your head into to marble. "if you stop moving, this won't hurt-"

 

He stopped, and you stopped, but you couldn't see what he was doing with your FACE BEING TWISTED INTO THE COUNTER. 

 

"huh. you did make me breakfast."

 

You wanted to scream at him slurs and curses of every kind, but considering he had your life in his hands, you just settled for, "GET OFF OF ME!!" 

 

He let you go, and you scrambled for the corner. The monster paid no mind to you as he sat down at the table. He pushed up one of the pancakes with a fork.

 

"this looks disgusting." He said, and even though it was true, you were still furious about it. "did you do this on purpose?"

 

"What?!" You hissed, standing up. "That wasn't even supposed to be for you!"

 

"...so you're just a bad cook?" 

 

You stomped over to his table, before slamming a hand down next to his plate, frustratedly, " _Shut. Up._ "

 

He hummed over this, a smile playing on his teeth, but it only made you more frustrated. Despite his words, his started to eat the pancakes, and you melted.

 

"Y-you don't have to force yourself to eat them!" You stuttered, before crossing your arms. "I mean, I know they're not ideal..."

 

"this is gross." He said, but he kept eating them.

 

With another slam on the table, all you said was, "Nevermind.  _Choke on them._ "

 

You were about to turn and leave, but his gentle touch stopped you. His phalanges grazed your apron. Normally, you would've slapped his hand away and yelled at him, but the look in his eyelights stopped you. He seemed... lost... He had this same look last night before he almost killed you. It made you wonder what was playing in his mind...

 

Whatever it was, SCREW HIM! He was a homicidal jerk! But you had enough tact to just pull your apron back and try to run. Before you could go, he grabbed your arm.

 

"stay with me."

 

You tried to pull your arm back, but his grip grew tighter, his sharp tips digging into your skin.

 

"O-okay..." You swallowed. Before sitting down at the other seat at the table.

 

He let you go, and you debated on taking off running, but you knew he could catch you so you didn't. The monster went back to his pancakes in silence. You thought it was odd that he kept eating them, if he said so himself that they were gross, but it was his life. Maybe he liked grossing himself out. You brought your legs up, hugging your knees to feel more safe while staring daggers into him.

 

He didn't even acknowledge you. Why did he want you to stay if he wasn't even going to talk to you? Weirdo...

 

...

 

....

 

...

 

You couldn't stand the silence anymore, "What's your name?!" You said abruptly. Too abruptly. You blushed at how much abruptness was used.

 

He took his eyelights off of the pancakes, regarding you briefly, before saying, "papyrus. yours?"

 

"I-It's Y/n..."

 

"y/n..." Was all Papyrus said, before taking another bite.

 

You searched your mind for more conversation that wouldn't make you want to throw up. "Don't you have work or school or something? Or is your job being lazy all day?"

 

Your insult made him stop. You wondered if he didn't like that. The hairs on your arm stood on end, goosebumps riddling your body as you waited for him to respond. But instead of being insulted, he seemed... taken back. Kind of. His whole situation was so weird. You didn't know what was wrong with him.

 

"Does the other monster who lives here work?"

 

This comment made him snap out of his daze. " _ **what**_?"

 

"Th-the other monster?" You started to shrink back. The more you talked, the more dangerous the air around him seemed. "F-for the other room?"

 

He looked at his empty plate. You hadn't noticed, but Papyrus finished your pancakes. His face was shadowed as he spoke. " _there is no other monster that lives here._ "

 

Shivers crawled up your spine as he said that. That room definetely looked like someone lived there. There were clothes hung up, a book partially open, and the computer was on when you first came into the room. But it couldn't have been Papyrus's, right? 

 

For whatever reason, you felt like you said something wrong. You felt like you needed to apologize, but you wouldn't. You had too much pride for that, plus you didn't really like Papyrus all that much. 

 

Instead, you stood up and said, "Uhm, can I take your plate?"

 

He stood up, making you take a step away from him. "yes."

 

Papyrus turned, but you stopped him, "I, uh, do you want me to make you dinner later?" You cringed at the patheticness of your voice, but you felt like you had to do something.

 

"..." He turned his head slightly, his back still facing you, before saying, "i feel nauseous from your pancakes, i don't think i'll be eating tonight."

 

You threw a fork at his head, but he disappeared before it could hit him.


	3. A Clean Shower

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You need a shower...

 

You paced back and forth in the hallway upstairs.

 

It had been three days, you couldn't hold back the question any longer. But would he be grumpy you were bothering him? It was possible. Would he tease you about it? You'd say that was likely. Would he make you work for it? One way or another.

 

But you couldn't live like this anymore! It was unjust! You would go as far to say inhumane! But everything down here was inhumane... 

 

Your biggest problem was asking Papyrus for things. You  _hated_  it.  _You HATED it!_ And you were certain he knew you hated it, and enjoyed that! You wished you could be self sufficient, but your scared he'll try to kill you if you leave the house! And there's only so much you can do in the house... 

 

Forget it. You'd survive. This isn't the worst thing you've been through. You could just make do with the sink-

 

All of the sudden, the door to his room swung open. You jumped, pushing yourself back into the railing, just in case you mught need to jump off in order to avoid Papyrus. 

 

"you've been pacing in front of my door." He said, grogily. It was almost dinner time, why was he groggy? He looked sloppy and tired, as if he had just woke up from a nap, his tank top barely hanging off of his shoulders.

 

You stared at him, debating on whether you should bolt in the other direction or just fling yourself off the railing.

 

Papyrus sighed. "what do you want?"

 

"I don't want anything!" You quickly spat.

 

Papyrus rolled his eyelights and it only made you more frustrated. "what do you  _need_?"

 

You ground your teeth. You hated this part. "This place..."

 

You saw him twitch for just a second, "ground rule #3: you can't leave."

 

You furrowed your brow in confusion. Not what you were going to ask, but good to know for the future? Good thing you never tried to escape, looks like your instincts were correct. 

 

Papyrus's ground rules. If you break them, he will kill you. 

 

Rule #1: Don't go into the room next to his own. 

 

Rule #2: If you don't work, you die. 

 

And now, apparently Rule #3: Don't leave. 

 

"... Does it have a bathroom?"

 

Papyrus's expression softened at your request. "why?"

 

You fidgeted in your place. "I've been down in this heaven forsaken hole for a week, and I haven't been able to take a bath once! I haven't had to, well, do  _other things,_ luckily... But I'm starting to feel the grime on me, dangit!"

 

You almost flipped over the railing when Papyrus came closer to you. He rested a hand on either side of you on the railing, keeping you from escaping. He was coming so close! You held your hands tightly to your chest as you also held your own breath and slammed your eyes shut. Even without looking, you could feel him lean down to your neck, his hot breath trailing across your skin, leaving chills in their path. Despite the shivers that traveled your spine, your face was burning at the closeness, so hot you could feel it emanating off of yourself. 

 

But just as soon as he was there, he was gone, and you peeked an eye open to see what he was doing, your rosy complexion still burning. 

 

"you smell fine." Despite his monotone words, he couldn't help the smirk that played on his face.

 

_He was smelling you?!_ Who does that?! " _What is wrong with you, you weirdo?!_ "

 

"pfft!" He let his smile widen just slightly, but it only made you more frustrated.

 

" _Grrrrrrr!_ " You growled before stomping, "Well,  _I don't care_ if you think I  _smell_  fine! I  _feel_  like I just crawled out of a drain!" 

 

"hmm." His lidded eyesockets showed how little he cared. "what's the plan?"

 

"Well, you must have a bathroom right?" You said.

 

"probably."

 

" _What do you mean, probably?!"_   _GAH!_ Okay, okay calm down. Just take some controlled breaths... but that won't stop you from being sassy. 

 

You gave him a pointed look. He seemed amused at your rage. 

 

"Of course, you don't know whether or not you have a bathroom. When's the last time you took a bath? You haven't stopped smelling of tobacco and rotted food since I've got here!" You hissed. "Unlike you, I like taking care of things like, oh I don't know, not being  _gross?_ "

 

That made him a little less amused, "for that, i should just let you suffer."

 

_Hrk_! You forgot you were asking him for something... You toyed with your fingers, "Er, uhm... I just..."

 

"you just what?"

 

You furrowed your brow in frustration, "Forget it! I'll just use the sink!"

 

Just as you were about to walk past, he blocked your path between you and the stairs. "no." He said, "you just lost your sink privileges."

 

"What?!" You exclaimed. "You can't be serious!"

 

Papyrus tilted his head, "i'm very serious. you can't use the sink anymore."

 

"How am I supposed to do the dishes?!"

 

"use your tongue to clean it off."

 

You recoiled and hissed in disgust, " _That's revolting!_ "

 

A grin twisted at the ends of his teeth. He was  _daring_  you to challenge him. 

 

You growled and scanned your mind for any other option. You  _hated_ giving in. More than even asking him for things. But... perhaps for your own sanity, you'd lose this battle. Doesn't mean he was going to win the war, though. 

 

"What..." You looked down, playing with your fingers. "Wh-what do you want me to say?" 

 

"sorry, please, and that you  _love_ the way i smell." 

 

" _Don't make me lie to you!_ " You hissed.

 

"and now you have ten seconds to say it."

 

"Ah!" You jumped, before slamming your eyes shut and yelling. " _I'm sorry for being mean! Please let me use your bath! I love the way you smell!_ Done!"

 

He grinned, "you have your sink privileges, again."

 

"And the bathroom?" You asked.

 

"in my room."

 

You gagged. "Is there another bathroom?"

 

"yes, but you're not allowed to use it."

 

You opened your mouth in protest, but stopped when your eyes fell on the door next to Papyrus's room. It had to have been owned by whoever was staying there, right? You've scanned every other inch if the place, and it would only make sense unless Papyrus had  _two_  bathrooms in his room. Which would be a little odd...

 

"Understood." Was all you said. You hated it when Papyrus got grumpy, and he seemed to get especially aggravated when even mentioning the room next to his own.

 

Papyrus hummed at your compliance, before opening the door to his room wider. You gagged again as smoke billowed out, hissing as the horrible stench filled the rest of the home. You'd have to open every window in the house, after this. You plugged your nose, before trudging past Papyrus into his room.

 

Dark, rotting, dingy, and revolting. If somebody ever wanted to torture you, you were sure they just had to stick you in this room to get the job done. The whole room didn't just reek, you could  _feel it on your skin_.

 

" _Gah!_ " You recoiled and clung to Papyrus, slamming your eyes shut. "I can taste it on my tongue! Can't you just magic me there?!"

 

"heheh, magic you there?" 

 

Slowly, you felt his phalanges trace your spine, descending lower down your back, giving you awful chills throughout your whole body. You gasped at the contact. Despite it's simpleness, the intimacyof his gentle touch made you immediately change your decision.

 

" _Nevermind!_ " You retreated from him, vigorously scrubbing your back as if it would wash his touch off. "I don't need to be magiced anywhere!"

 

Your marched back into his room, plugging your nose and holding your breath. Objective: Find the bathroom! That can be easily done all you have to do is-!

 

_**Oh heavens, how long had that pizza been there?** _

You felt your stomach do flips, ready to make you vomit, but you peeled your eyes away from the molding meal and continued on your journey.

 

There! A door! You ran to the door, opened it, and immediately regretted your decision.

 

"that's my closet."

 

Old food, clothes, and bottles tumbled out landing on your feet. That's it. You'd have to amputate them. 

 

It seemed Papyrus had mercy on you, as he pointed to where the bathroom door was. "the bathroom is right there."

 

"Thank the heavens!" You exhaled, before making a beeline to the door. 

 

You opened the bathroom with one swing, and slammed yourself inside. It was pretty gross in the bathroom too, but a quick clean up could fix that in no time. You turned to go lock the door when...

 

...

 

You gently knocked on the door, "Papyrus?"

 

"yes?" You heard his muffled voice from behind the door.

 

"How do you lock the door?"

 

"i don't have a lock. it's my room."

 

HECK! 

 

You fidgeted a bit. You looked to the bath. Of course, there was no shower curtain, because Papyrus was a lazy piece of garbage. But if he were to come in, he would see you stark naked! You wouldn't be able to live with him if he saw you naked...

 

"Uhm... Do you, uhm... Promise you won't come in while I'm showering?"

 

"..."

 

" _Papyrus_!"

 

"what if i need to brush my teeth?"

 

"Don't lie to me and say you brush your teeth!" You said, exasperated. "And if you really need something, do it before I shower! Right now!"

 

"you're not being very grateful."

 

"Papyrus,  _please!_ " You cried. " _Promise_ me you won't come in!"

 

"what will you do for me?" 

 

You  _knew_ he was going to try and get something out of it. But you weren't going to let him win this battle.

 

"I-if you see me naked..." You started to shake. Even when you try to get the upper hand, you were scared of him. "I-I can't keep gr-ground rule #3."

 

...

 

You held your breath.

 

...

 

"you're shaking, y/n." You jumped at the sound of his cool calmed voice behind the door. It was too calmed. "are you scared?"

 

Your breathing went erratic. How could he be so perceptive? You couldn't lie to him, you couldn't win if you lied. "...Y-yes."

 

"why are you scared?" He wasn't actually asking, and you both knew that.

 

"B-because you coul-ld kill me...."

 

"and if you break ground rule #3?"

 

You started to cry, "you'll k-kill me."

 

"good." His voice was so controlled. It chilled you to your bone. There was a pause, as if he was debating something. "i promise i won't come in while you're bathing."

 

You exhaled, shaking. You couldn't believe you actually pulled that off. Tears dripped down your cheeks, but at this point they were tears of relief. You decided, since you won that one, you should be nice. 

 

"Th-thank you..."

 

"what was that?"

 

"Thank you." You said a little louder.

 

"one more time?"

 

"Thank-!" You stopped when you realized what he was doing. You slammed a fist on the door and yelled, " _Why are you the way that you are?!_ "

 

You heard him laughing on the other side of the door. You were amazed with how easy he switched from being a crazy psychopath to just being a teasing jerk. 

 

But you could push that aside for now. Right now, you needed to clean this mess. You couldn't take a shower with all this nastiness everywhere! Luckily, it looked like he hardly ever used his bathroom, so this could be quick and easy...

* * *

 

You opened the door to the bathroom and exhaled. 

 

You felt great.

 

Nothing like a hot shower to make you feel awesome. 

 

Using a towel you draped around your neck, you dried the side of your jawline.

 

"had a nice shower?"

 

Even Papyrus and his disgusting room couldn't bring you down from elation. "I did." You smiled.

 

He looked into the bathroom with surprise. "you cleaned it?"

 

"I did." You repeated, stepping over some dirty clothes to make your way through his room.

 

"it looks nice." He hummed. 

 

You took off your towel and wrapped it around his shoulders. "Nice enough for you to take a shower?"

 

Papyrus blinked in surprise, before taking the end of the towel and bringing it to his nasal bone. He traced your jawline with a phalange. "doesn't sound like an awful idea." 

 

"Good." You turned and left his gross room. "It would do you wonders."


	4. Grocery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You need groceries.

Ugh. The fridge was empty. The cupboards were empty. The pantry was empty. 

 

Everything was empty.

 

You had officially used the last of the food in Papyrus's supplies. There was nothing else you could do. You'd have to ask Papyrus for groceries. Could he even pay for groceries? It didn't look like he worked. He just sulked in his room all day long, only occasionally coming out to annoy you when he was lonely. 

 

But you decided to draft together a grocery list anyway. Surely Papyrus could get them one way or another. 

 

You opened a drawer in the kitchen and pulled out some pen and paper. 

 

You decided you should probably add some food items. Simple things, like milk, eggs, bread, necessities and whatnot. You'd love to make a dessert sometime... not that it would come out good, but it mught be fun. You added chocolate to the list. Soap and a few cleaning supplies was needed. 

 

Wow. This made you feel powerful. You could put anything on this list. 

 

You searched your mind for what else you might want. In parenthesis, you started a list titled things that You would appreciate. You put on some extra pairs of clothes. You had been wearing the same hiking clothes for the past two weeks, you needed at least a change of underwear. You thought a little bit more. You wrote down a miscellaneous list of things you'd make for a trap that you read about in the book you had. 

 

Perfect. That looks great. But now, for the hard part.

 

You walked up the stairs to Papyrus's room. You held up your fist to knock, but stopped yourself. You couldn't force yourself to knock. What if he was grumpy? But it was almost lunch time! He should be up already! But he never is...

 

But wouldn't he kill you if you didn't have breakfast ready?

 

You shivered. Probably. You'd rather have him grumpy than homicidal, that was for sure. Bracing yourself for the worst, you knocked heavy on the door. 

 

...

 

Nothing.

 

You tilted your head, before knocking again.

 

...

 

Still nothing. 

 

You wondered what he was doing...? 

 

WAIT!

 

WAS HE ACTUALLY SHOWERING?! 

 

IT WAS A MIRACLE!

 

You had to be able to hear it for yourself. You opened the door to his room. Low and behold, nobody was in his room. Not even on the bare mattress. You quickly turned to check behind you. He always seemed to try and sneak up on you, whispering all creepy-like in your ear. But he wasn't even behind you! You whipped back to look in front of you. But nobody was there...

 

You tip toed into his room, coughing as you successfully maneuvered around the crap that littered the floor, until you made it in front of the bathroom door. You put your ear to the door. You heard nothing. You knocked on the door. Nothing.

 

"Papyrus?" You called. No answer. 

 

You opened the door cautiously, half expecting to see a naked skeleton, but nobody was in there.

 

Was he gone?

 

You ran out of his room, holding onto the banister, while yelling, " _Papyrus_!!"

 

No answer.

 

You were really home alone! You jumped in excitement. You hadn't been home alone since...

 

Wait, he didn't tell you he was going out? What if he had done this before? What the heck, that jerk!? Making you thinking he was just in his room napping all day while he magiced his way out to go party, leaving you all by yourself, shaking with fear that any moment he could come out and decide to kill you! By the heavens, you hated that monster...

 

Well, HA! Jokes on him! You found out his scheme! And now, you could break any rule you wanted! 

 

You went up to the door next to Papyrus's. You could just...

 

Fear stopped you mind.

 

Just open it.

 

What if he finds out?

 

Open it.

 

What if he finds you in there?

 

_Open it!_

_WHAT IF HE KILLS YOU?_

_OPEN IT, YOU COWARD!_

Okay, so you couldn't break Rule #1... But what about Rule #2?

 

You rubbed your jaw in thought. Well, you couldn't really  _unwork,_ and making a mess didn't really sound like fun. So maybe Rule #2 was out, too.

 

_But_   _Rule #3_...

 

You ran down the steps with giddiness, making your way to the front door. You had been locked in the house since you got here! What was that, two weeks now? Two and a half? It had been hard to keep count. But now! You could go  _out!_

You rushed up to the door, the smile on your face spreading from ear to ear. You grabbed the handle with both of your hands, swinging the door open, when a bony hand from behind you stopped the door and slammed it shut.

 

" _what are you doing?_ "

 

You froze. Heck.

 

You started to sweat, but you didn't turn around.  _By the heavens,_  you were  _so glad_  you didn't go into the room next to Papyrus's. 

 

" **y/n** _._ " You turned around at the sound of your name, your face paling at the monster in front of you. " _what. are. you. doing._ "

 

He was not happy with you. His shadowed face was turned down in a scowl. The very sight made you swallow.

 

"I-I-I was just going out for some fresh air!" You held his eye contact, worried he might stab you while you weren't looking if you didn't. 

 

" _y/n._ " His voice had such weight to it, you wanted to sink into the door behind your back. " _rule #3._ "

 

"I-I was going to come back-!" You pleaded.

 

" _what is rule #3?_ "

 

You started to cry from his tone of voice. You looked down, unable to bare looking him in the eyes. "D-d-don't leav-ve..."

 

"does that include going out for 'fresh air'?" Papyrus tilted your chin up with one finger to look at him.

 

"Y-yes!" You hiccuped. "Ar-are you goin-g to kill m-me?"

 

Papyrus held your face, using his thumb to wipe your tears. "did you leave?"

 

"N-no..."

 

"then no." 

 

You pulled up your hands to your face to wipe your eyes. "I-I hate you... I want to l-leave and I hat-te you so much..."

 

"you should be grateful." Papyrus left you by the door, to go sit on the couch. "there are alot of monsters out there that want to kill you. you wouldn't last five seconds out there." 

 

Really? You lasted a while before you came here. You decided to keep your comments to yourself as you pulled out the wrinkled grocery list from your pocket. A few of your tears dropped on them, so you wiped your eyes again with your arm.

 

"Where w-were you?" You asked. You hated your stutter. 

 

"what?"

 

"Y-you were gone..." You wondered if he would get mad that you tried to leave when you knew he was gone, but when he didn't say anything you continued. "W-where were you?"

 

"..." He sighed. "i was at work."

 

You knew it. He had been gone before. You walked out in front of him, before holding out the list. Papyrus tilted his head in confusion, before he took it. 

 

"milk, eggs, bread...?" He looked to you with question.

 

"We need-d those." You said. "Get them b-before you come home tonight."

 

Papyrus's eyelights scrolled your list. He looked back up to you. "did you want anything else that's not on this list?" He asked, honestly.

 

Maybe your freedom? You hugged yourself with your arms, avoiding eye contact. Tears continued to drip down your cheeks. 

 

"if you don't say anything, i won't get you anything else." 

 

"C-can you get me a new book to read?" You swallowed.

 

He looked to you. "...what kind do you want?"

 

"A-adventure."

 

Papyrus hummed, before standing. He gently ran his fingers through your hair, before pushing your head against his teeth. "i will see you tonight."

 

And in the blink of an eye, he disappeared. You let go of the breath you were holding. 

 

You fell onto the couch he was previously sitting in, put your face into one of the throw pillows, and screamed at the top of your lungs.

 

You hated him! You HATED him! You hated him so much! You wished you could just leave him, you wished you could run, you wished you could do ANYTHING to get out! How could you have such bad luck as to fall into the claws of such monster?! 

 

With Asgore you could escape! With Asgore, you had a chance! But this guy! He's  _impossible!_ He was  _at work_  and he caught you trying to leave! 

 

You exhaled, your breath gaining weight. 

 

Fine. You'll play by his rules, for now. But whether sooner or later, you were going to make it out. You would make it out if he killed you doing it.

 

You'd make it out...

* * *

 

You were doing the dishes when Papyrus came home. Now that he knew you worked, he made no effort to hide the fact that he was home. In fact, you supposed he made it obvious on purpose as a courtesy to you. Instead of opening the door and walking in, he could just magic his way in. But he walked in anyway.

 

He set down bags of groceries, so you turned your head. You looked to him, before you walked to the bags. Shuffling through them, you found he bought you everything you asked for, even the clothes and the parts for a trap you wanted to make. And, of course, a book was lying on the top. You glanced back up at Papyrus.

 

Papyrus did not look amused. He held up a shattered lamp. "was this you?"

 

You turned your head to hide your smile. "What? Me?"

 

He tilted your head back to him. " _this_  and a couple other of my things were lying outside of the house. under my window."

 

"Really?"

 

"my window was still open."

 

You pulled your head away from his grasp. "I  _may_  have opened the window of your room to get some  _fresh air._ And I  _may_ have  _accidentally_ knocked some of your items over. And they  _may_ have fallen out of your window in the process."

 

Papyrus sighed. "you're such a brat."

 

You whipped your head back to him, "Only to  _brainsick_  monsters like yourself!"

 

"i don't have a brain, i'm a skeleton."

 

"Whatever!"

 

Papyrus's eyelights scrolled you for a second. He picked up your book and said, "i'll hold onto this until you deserve it."

 

" _What?!_ " You swiped at the book to try and catch it, but he moved away and dangled it above your head, "That's not fair!"

 

"not fair? you threw my stuff out of my window." Papyrus said. "i think it's more than fair."

 

" _You!_ " Your face went a dark red, "You threatened to  _kill me!_ You are keeping me here  _against my will! That's_ what's not fair!" 

 

"that's true. i guess i didn't take that into account." Papyrus hummed, tapping the spine of the book against his teeth, nonchalantly. "...but since i'm in charge, i say i get to keep this until i think you deserve it."

 

" _GAH!_ " You scratched your head in frustration, before exasperatedly grabbing the groceries to put them away. "Fine! Whatever! But do me a favor and stop giving me a headache!"

 

For some reason, this phrase made Papyrus stop. He swallowed, and you rose an eyebrow in slight interest. But not enough interest. He seemed pull at his collar, looking to the ground as if he was bothered by something. Whatever. Papyrus was a weirdo. You always seem to say something that would make him randomly uncomfortable. 

 

You exhaled and grabbed him by the shoulders before pushing him outside of the kitchen. "I'm making dinner. Let me know if you feel like I 'deserve' the book, yet."

 

"..." He didn't say anything else, but you didn't comment on it further. Afterall, you had dinner to cook, and now you had the groceries to do that.


	5. Submission

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You try to make Papyrus your mutt.

You slipped on your new clothes and looked at yourself in the mirror. Wow. It felt really nice to wear something that didn't stick to you like sweat. 

 

You were in Papyrus's bathroom, which basically became your room at this point because Papyrus never used it and it was the only room with a closed door in the house that you were allowed to go in, save for Papyrus's disgusting room. Though, you still slept on the couch downstairs, you enjoyed the small amounts of privacy you'd savor while in his bathroom.

 

"does it fit?" Papyrus asked, on the other side of the door.

 

You turned around. "It's a little short..." You were hoping Papyrus would get you something more apt for the weather, like some pants or a jacket. Instead, Papyrus bought you clothes more fitting for a hot summer, like shorts and tank tops. "Won't I get cold?"

 

"i'll keep the house warm."

 

You thought for a moment. You supposed he bought you all of this to keep you from going outside. You shook your head. You could wash your hiking gear and wear that when you escaped. "It's also a bit..."

 

"...?"

 

"Well, I mean!" You flushed as you tried to pull your shorts down a little bit. "It doesn't really cover much!"

 

"awesome."

 

You slammed your fist on the door and he laughed. You exhaled in frustration, until you noticed something odd about all the clothes he bought you.

 

"So..." You searched through the clothing in confusion. "Do you have a vendetta against purple or something?"

 

Papyrus went silent at this. 

 

"I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm not picky or anything." You said, "I just thought it was weird. You got every color, except for that one. You don't even have any variations of pink that look even a little like purple?"

 

You heard his breathing go more silent, as if he didn't want you to notice it. You heard a soft thud on the door. Out of curiosity, you walked up to the door and put your ear against the door. His breathing was so close and so uneven. He was resting his head on the door. What you would give to know what was happening in his mind?

 

"Is it because it's your color?" You voiced, loud, and you noticed it startled him. You did a little victory dance in your mind at that. "You're always wearing that purple jacket, you don't want me to take your color?"

 

" _pfft_!" He started to laugh, "hahaheheh... you caught me, love." 

 

"Love?" You didn't like that. "I'm not your love, but whatever." You put the other clothes in grocery bags, but making sure you put your hiking clothes in a separate, dirty bag. You opened the door, putting your hands on your hips. 

 

Papyrus hummed, "you look good."

 

"I always look good." You rolled your eyes. 

 

His eyelights scrolled your body, lingering in places that made you shift uncomfortably. "you're right. it is short." He toyed with the edge of your shorts, and you had to smack his hand away.

 

"Hey!" You snapped at him. "Just because it looks good doesn't mean it's an all you can eat buffet!" Papyrus purred at the imagery, but you continued. "Aren't you a skeleton? You shouldn't even have the --well--  _the parts_  for this kind of behaviour!"

 

"heheh, what kind of ' _behaviour_ '?" He leaned toward you.

 

You pushed him back with one hand, "You know  _exactly_  what you're doing."

 

" _please_ , mistress. just let me have a  _taste_  of the buffet?" And then, the fact that you were so revolted by his obvious tease to get a reaction out of you aside, the most curious thing happened. A tongue,  _a TONGUE,_ slid past his teeth, painting his sharp fangs momentarily with dark purple saliva.  _WHAT?!_

You used your other hand to push his face away from yours out of sheer shock, " _WHAT?!_ "

 

You should've expected it. You should've  _known_ better than to ever touch him voluntarily. You promptly felt that long, purple tongue ooze inbetween your fingers. Warm, dripping saliva slid like molasses down your knuckles, and the urge to vomit rose in your throat. 

 

A fake moan escaped his non-existent throat, as he over-seductively said, " _oh, thank you, mistress~._ "

 

" _GAH!_ " You openly gagged, ripping your hand away from his face. " _You're disgusting_! I just took a shower!"

 

"you wanna take another one?" He leaned over you, your chests almost touching. "i'll join you."

 

"NO!" You used both of your hands to push him off of you, and he started laughing again. You ran past him out of his room, and hissed, "Never ever ever ever  _ever ever ever ever EVER!!_ In ANY lifetime!" 

 

"i was just offering to let you see for yourself whether i had  _the parts_ -"

 

You slammed the door to his room, and you heard his cackling before you stomped away. You looked to your hand as you stomped down the stairs. Ugh, that was  _foul._  If you could, you'd dunk your hand in a zinc solution over and over again to get the  _very feeling_  to stop crawling all over your skin. Yuck. Instead you'd have to settle for the hand soap and the kitchen sink. 

 

When you made it to the kitchen, you ran the water and started scrubbing your hand. Then your thoughts began to drift.

 

You know, that was the first time he said please. You know, aside from when he's  _ordering_  you to say please. You knew he was just doing that to gross you out, and even though it worked, it got you thinking more about it. He was awfully submissive. You wondered what it'd be like if he was like that all the time. Listening to your every order? He'd be your greatest ally as opposed to your greatest hindrance.

 

You could escape. Not just Papyrus, but the underground in general.

 

But Papyrus wasn't like that all the time, ugh. He was overbearing, controlling, lazy, revolting, annoying, a jerk, cold, frustrating, and worst of all? Dominating over you. 

 

...

 

What if he was a total submissive pansy when it came to a hot lady friend?

 

You never thought of seducing him before, but that would make the most sense right? He seemed to be very physically and instinctively motivated. AKA motivated by sleep, food, sex, and annoying you. 

 

You shuddered. You weren't  _completely_ inexperienced, but you definitely weren't an expert when it came to that kind of thing. You didn't care much for romance before you fell down here, it just wasn't a major part of your life. But you couldn't imagine that in this kill or be killed world that Papyrus would have much experience either. 

 

He sure acted like it, though. Dangit, maybe he did have a bit of experience? 

 

You shook your head. Even if he did, you had confidence in your own abilities. At the very least, maybe you could sexy your way out of his house. 

 

You thought for a moment what the worst case scenario would be. You shook the thought out of you mind. You didn't want to think about the worst case scenario. 

 

Well, there was no use in not trying. You were determined, to do what you had too. 

 

You wondered briefly if you should silently practice in front of the mirror in the bathroom... But then decided against it at the thought of the humiliation if Papyrus decided to walk in on you.

* * *

 

This was it. You were going to do it. You mustered up every piece of courage you had. Time to make Papyrus your personal mutt! 

 

You knocked on Papyrus's door. "Papyrus?" 

 

You heard a hum from beyond the door. 

 

"Dinner is ready."

 

Another hum. You breathed deeply to slow your heart rate. It calmed. Nice. You were basically a professional.

 

You walked down the stairs and prepared his meal. Steak and potatoes. They were slightly burned, but it was your fourth attempt and the best one. You had hid the other three attempts... But steak and potatoes was hot, wasn't it? Nothing's more sexy than steak and potatoes. And black was a provocative color.

 

You had the table exactly set where it needed. You shifted one of the forks slightly. Perfect. You timed it perfectly, the sun was setting. 

 

"interesting." You turned at the sound of Papyrus's voice. He was unreasonably close to you, but you didn't take a step back. 

 

"What is?" You said as you looked up at him through your eyelashes. You read in a book once that guys like it when you're bashful.

 

Papyrus stopped. He cocked his skull, as he hummed. "...really interesting."

 

You were bold enough to take a step towards him, but he didnt react. "Are you going to keep me in suspense? So rude..." Despite your words, your voice was smoothed. Nailed it.

 

"steak and potatoes?" He physically moved you aside to sit down. "that's new."

 

You wouldn't let his obvious ignore deter you from your goal. You brushed your hair out of your face. "I wanted to try something different." 

 

You grabbed his plate, and set it down in front of him, bending and showcasing your gentle frame. You saw his eyelights drift over your body. Ha. Got him. 

 

Papyrus looked at the plate. "it doesn't look awful."

 

"Thank you." You voiced.

 

He stared at you for a long time, looking from your eyes to your neck and down your body, but you didn't break eye contact as you usually would. You had to make sure to assert your dominance. You wouldn't know what to do if he tried be on top in the relationship... 

 

You couldn't help but notice the cold look in Papyrus's eyelights. Was he trying to fight back? You could win. "...right." Papyrus looked at his food with... distrust? Your cooking wasn't that bad! He looked back to you, his eyelights still dark. "you know, love..."

 

You didn't correct him, and he tilted his skull at this.

 

"...a meal like this is no fun eating alone." He said, continuing to scan your expression. He cut a piece of the steak, and held it up to you to eat. "dine with me?"

 

"I couldn't agree more." You said as you held his gaze. You brushed your fingers against his as you took the fork from him. He watched you intently as you lifted the steak to your tongue. But just when you were about to put the morsel on your tongue, he stood up abruptly, grabbing your wrist to keep you from putting it in your mouth.

 

The two of you froze. Was this an emotional romantic outburst? Was he going to kiss you? Wow, that was fast. You had alot more planned... You could save that for next time, you supposed.

 

"i'm..." You noticed something different about his expression. It was... pale? Even though he was a blank white skeleton, he seemed paled. His breath went uneven. "...i lost my appetite."

 

Oh. He got embarrassed? YES! It was working! You already had more control over him than you realized. You slowly set down the fork. "That's fine. Would you like to rest in the living room?"

 

He furrowed his bone brow, scanning you once more over and over to try and read you. "...please." HA! Got him to say it! 

 

You held his hand, something that made him more unsettled. You led him to the couch and gently moved him into a sitting position.

 

This was it. This was your moment. You ignored your racing heart beat as you took a deep breath.

 

"what-?"

 

Bolder than you've ever been, you sat on his lap, your fingers tugging on the strings of his hoodie. You had never voluntarily gotten so close to him before. You could feel his breath on your lips as his eyesockets widened. Nice. You surprised him. You shifted in his lap to get more comfortable as well as assert your presence, and it seemed to have the intended affect as you saw him suppress a groan.

 

"I want you to say please again." You breathed on his teeth. Oh, yeah. You got this. You closed your eyes and leaned closer to him, pulling him in for a deep kiss. You didn't know how to kiss a skeleton, but you were sure you'd be a quick learner. 

 

But before you could even plant a kiss on his teeth, he put a boney hand over your mouth. "wait."

 

You stopped. Through muffled lips, you voiced, "Whaa?"

 

"are you trying to seduce me?"

 

You peeled his hand off of your mouth. "Yes. Did it work?"

 

A moment passed as you stared at each other in silence. And then-

 

"bahahahahah!" His head swung back in laughter, as he raked a hand over his eyes. "ahah! ahahah! hahahahahahahahahahahh!"

 

Your face started to burn, "What did I do wrong?"

 

"snrk-! ahahaha! you didn't do anything wrong, love, i promise! ahahah!" He wiped a tear of purple from his eyesocket.

 

"Well, then why are you laughing?" You puffed your cheeks out in frustration.

 

"oooohoho my stars, that is so funny... hahahheheh..." He calmed.

 

"Why are you laughing?!" You demanded.

 

"heheh... i'm dumb, that's why." He set a hand on your head, but, the moment he touched you, you peeled his hand off.

 

"Well, that's true. But you're dumb all the time, so what makes this time different?" 

 

"i thought you were trying to kill me."

 

" _What_?!" You recoiled.

 

"yeah, i know." He said, resting his hands on your waist. Once again, the moment he touched you, you peeled him off. "can you blame me? all of the sudden you started acting all nice, you cook a semi-edible meal, you don't correct me when i call you love."

 

"So your first thought is  _murder._ " You clarified. "Not 'oh, maybe she might actually start to like me', but instead 'yep, definitely  _murder!_ '"

 

"it's a kill or be killed world down here, love." He mused.

 

"That's... sad." You said, seriously. You looked to his hoodie strings. Something occurred to you, why did he stop you from eating your meal? If he had let you taste it, he would've found it wasn't poison. Why did he stop you?

 

Before you could ask, he continued. "it is. but on another note..." 

 

Suddenly, your world was flipped around, your back to the cushions of the couch and Papyrus directly over you, trapping you with his arms. He was so tall, and you couldn't help but notice his slender physique. 

 

He leaned down to your ear, making it warm from his hot breath. " _you were trying to seduce me_?"

 

You pushed his chest up, turning your head to try and hide your flushing face. "Not anymore."

 

"what happened to  _never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever_?" 

 

That only made you burn brighter. Dang it. You hated it when Papyrus made you blush, because he could always tell. "Stop using my words against me."

 

You had to keep pushing him, but he still managed to get closer to you. Abruptly, you felt a sharp nibble on your ear and you let out a squeak. He rumbled, "heheh, what was that?"

 

You couldn't do this! You couldn't let him stay on top even if it meant losing a chance at escaping! You pushed him up with both your hands, "I was only trying to seduce you to make you do what I wanted!"

 

He grinned, taking your hand, "i had a feeling. well, mistress,  _i am yours_ as you request. what do you want me to kiss?"

 

" _Nothing!_ " You yelled, but he leaned down to the crook of your neck and purred.

 

"there was one thing you didn't take into account, mistress." He nibbled at the skin beneath your ears at the tip of your jawline, and you gasped at the contact. " _i'm on top._ "

 

"Liar!" You used every last bit of strength you had to peel his skull off of you, using your two hands and all of your arm strength. "There's no way you're dominant 100% of the time, such a creature doesn't exist!"

 

He laughed at that. "heheh, no?"

 

You nodded, but continued to try and wiggle your way out of his grasp. "Let me go!"

 

"promise me a kiss and i will." He grinned.

 

"NO."

 

"come on." He tugged you closer. "you almost kissed me, before."

 

" _You want a kiss_?" You grabbed his arm, suddenly, opened your jaws as wide as you could before trying to slam down on his arm. 

 

Unfortunately, your teeth didn't make it far enough, because he used his hand to stop your jaw. "no biting." His phalanges poked painfully at your mouth, and you tried to shake him off but he wouldn't let go. "nod if you understand." 

 

You nodded.

 

"good girl." Papyrus hummed, before he continued, "don't do that ag-"

 

You kissed him between his eyesockets. And just like that, he froze. You loved it when you got the upper hand. With this new found leverage, you rolled out from under him onto the floor and sprinted up the steps to the bathroom.

 

"I'm taking a shower to get your gross stench off of me!" You yelled back at him, "Don't bother me!!"

 

And just like that, you slammed the door to his own room. For effect, of course.

 

 

..

 

 

 

....

 

 

 

 

.......

 

 

Papyrus rubbed the bone between his eyesockets, a light purple barely dusting his cheekbones. "huh."


	6. Night Terrors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You hear something upstairs.

You were finishing up the last touches of your trap. You certainly never thought in your life time that you'd fall down a hole in a mountain, land in a world where monsters reign and kill to be on top, end up kidnapped by a strangely OP skeleton monster, and then spend your free time building traps because what else is there to do?

 

And you just had to pull the last spring back and viola! You finally finished the trap! That was pretty impressive, if you said so yourself. You gave yourself a pat on the back.

 

But you had to see if the trap would work... but you couldn't set the trap off yourself, or else you wouldn't be able to get down...

 

But you could set someone else in the trap? Someone who could immediately magic their way down?

 

You walked to the edge of the banister. "Papyrus?" You called, but no answer.

 

You don't remember him leaving for work.

 

You walked up the steps, and knocked on his door. "Papyrus?"

 

You didn't receive an answer again. You opened the door, holding your breath that he wouldn't be grumpy with you for waking him up from his nap.  But... He wasn't asleep.

 

Papyrus was sitting on his bare mattress, one leg pulled to his chest and the other relaxed at his side. His hand drapped over his eyesockets, but his expression didn't tell you anything good.

 

You didn't know whether or not he noticed you when you walked in, because he made no effort to move or say anything. You swallowed. You felt rather awkward. Should you leave? He didn't seem in the condition to try out a trap... but you felt bad just leaving him there like that. Maybe he needed something...

 

But you didn't want to ask, so you closed the door and rushed downstairs, past your trap, and into the kitchen. You grabbed the milk and the chocolate, grabbed a saucepan, and started the stove. Nothing was more comforting than hot cocoa, right? 

 

You mixed and heated the ingredients. Of course, it didn't come out the way you wished, but it seemed edible so you poured it into a mug and ran back upstairs, carefully avoiding your trap.

 

You didn't even bother to knock when you let yourself in. 

 

Papyrus wasn't there.

 

"Hnng..." You can't believe you missed him! You wished you had been quicker or maybe asked him to stay put! 

 

You set the hot cocoa down next to his mattress. You didn't know where he went, but maybe he would be back soon...

 

In the meantime, you supposed it would be wise to dismember your trap. 

 

* * *

 

You were a firm believer in going to bed when the sun set and rising when the sun did. Unfortunately, there was no sun here. Fortunately, it still was either light or dark outside.

 

Right now, it was dark outside.

 

You didn't know how long you had been asleep, when you heard the sounds of crashing and yelling from upstairs. You shot up and looked at Papyrus's door. A strange purple light glowed from underneath it. What was he doing? 

 

Another crash and the sound of furniture smashing, and you couldn't sit still any longer. Maybe it was a bad idea to follow the sound of destruction, but what if he was in trouble? What if somebody broke in?

 

You stopped as you reached Papyrus's door.

 

What if this was your chance to leave?

 

You shook your head. You hated him, yes. You needed and wanted to leave, yes. But if somebody was in trouble, even if it was Papyrus, you couldn't turn your back. It wasn't you.

 

You opened the door and stopped. The scene in front of you looked like it had to be from some, strange movie. Glowing, purple bones were scattered across the room, wedged between broken furniture, piercing the floor, some even stabbing the wall. Papyrus was sitting on his mattress, both his hands grabbing his eyesockets, one of which that had purple, electric magic leaking out. His whole body was shaking, and all at once you saw another array of bones destroy something else in his room.

 

He was mumbling beneath his breath, but you couldn't make it out. 

 

Night terrors. You knew the horror of those all too well. He was dangerous right now. But danger never stopped you before.

 

You pushed past the bones. They burned to touch, like electricity was running through them, but not quite. Still, you pushed past the bones as you hurriedly made your way to his bare mattress.

 

"Papyrus!" You collapsed on the mattress, burns littering your arms and hands. The sound of his name made him jump, but you grabbed his wrist, pulled him close to your chest, and hugged him as tight as you could. You weren't a gentle comforter, but you did what you could. "You're okay! You're fine!"

 

He was tense, the touch seemingly foreign to him. He was still shaking, and all of the sudden it started to hurt holding him.

 

But you didn't stop.

 

"It was a dream! You're here now!"  You traced your fingers along his skull. Despite all the intensity, you noticed an empty mug fallen over on the floor. "You're here now... You're okay..."

 

The shaking slowed.

 

"You're fine... You're in your room."

 

The pain started to dull, and so did the glowing in the room. 

 

"You're okay...  _You are okay_..."

 

Papyrus relaxed, and the room was dark again. Slowly, one by one, bones sunk back into the floor. The purple from his eyelights dimmed until it was gone. He was back to reality now.

 

You continued to trace your fingers along his skull. You realized he was grasping your waist. You didn't know when that started, but he didn't let go. He started to shake again, and you worried he might start magicing up the place again. But instead just a few words fell from his mouth.

 

" _sans_..." Sans? Is that...? "... _i-i miss you so much._.."

 

Oh, dang. You were sure Papyrus didn't want you to hear that. You turned your head at the thought of the monster next door. But you just kept tracing little circles on his skull. You didn't say a word.

 

His breath gained weight. His shaking slowed. And eventually, his whole body relaxed.

 

He was asleep.

 

Now what? 

 

He was still grasping your waist, as if it was the only thing keeping him alive. You didn't really want to peel out of his embrace, out of fear that he might wake up, but at the same time...

 

It was so gross in here.

 

Even half destroyed, his room smelled disgusting. You could even  _feel_ it on your skin. Ugh, why couldn't he just be sanitary? It would make comforting him  _alot_ easier. 

 

But you decided to take one for the team. You were just  _that good_. You awkwardly shifted your way into a laying down position, and decided to ignore the sweat coming off of the mattress. Papyrus was still holding onto your waist as he was using your chest as a pillow. It kind of hurt...

 

Oh, well. Hopefully, you'd get at least a little sleep that night.

 

* * *

 

You woke up to the light of the window resting on your eyes.

 

Geez, why did your head hurt so much? You rubbed your head. You didn't remember bumping it anytime... Also, you had this weirdly sweet taste on your tongue, but you couldn't quite place what it was. What time was it? You usually woke up earlier than when the light reached your window.

 

Wait.

 

Papyrus didn't let light in his room?

 

You shot up and looked around. You were on the couch, surrounded in a blanket instead of the arms of a certain skeletal monster. Was it... a dream? 

 

You shifted again, before you winced in pain. You looked at your arms. The burns. But... You were covered in bandages. 

 

You sat up and made your way to the kitchen, when a delicious smell reached your senses. By the heavens, it had been  _so long_ since you actually ate something  _good!_ You looked to the table. There were eggs and pancakes made. 

 

Were... were those for you?

 

You sat down at the table, when something else caught your eye. A book was laying down on the table. An adventure book.

 

Well, it looked like you finally deserved it.

 

You started to eat the eggs. They were delicious. 

 

But Papyrus was nowhere to be seen. You thought about knocking on his door to thank him, but he might appreciate it more if you  _didn't_ talk to him. 

 

You took another bite as you let your mind wander...


	7. Night Terrors Part: 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Papyrus isn't doing so hot, guys.

Papyrus hurt,  _everything hurt_.

 

He let himself feel again. He didn't know why he kept doing that, but it started becoming more common than not at this point. 

 

_The image of a magenta bandana resting in dust scarred his mind._

Today was the month mark. And Papyrus just felt so  _low._ Papyrus couldn't believe it had only been a couple months since he passed. He felt like Sans had been gone for  _years. Decades_ , even. 

 

Papyrus didn't know how he had lasted this long. The thought of living a life time grieving over his brother left an empty pit in his stomach. He wanted to vomit. 

 

He let memories plague his mind once again and darkness began to seep into his soul. Stars, his soul was so rotted. It hurt to even breath. 

 

Why was he still here again?

 

"Papyrus?"

 

Oh, yeah.

 

How pathetic was he? Papyrus would've laughed if he wasn't so sure that purple bile would follow it. Clinging to a human as a reason to live. He didn't even particularly like the human. You were just there. But being there was good enough... And sometimes more. 

 

There were some times,  _occasional moments_ , when you'd make him smile. Make him tease you. Make him laugh. In just a glancing moment, he'd forget that he was  _so empty._ Papyrus didn't expect that when he forced you to stay here. He just expected a reason to live, a reason to go to work and put food on the table. He couldn't die because if he did, you would starve. It wasn't like he actually cared about your well being, but staying alive was alot easier when you had something to take care of.

 

But then... You actually made him? Not hate his life sometimes? That was pretty nice.

 

Right now, though, he didn't want to forget. He wanted to wallow. It was pitiable, but so was he without his brother. Sometimes, he just wanted to be miserable. 

 

He took to long to leave. You knocked his door. "Papyrus?"

 

You opened the door and he couldn't even look you in the eyes. He didn't want to move, the thought hurt him. So he just sat as you stared at him, debating on what to do. He would've found amusement in your struggle if he didn't feel so empty inside. Then, you left.

 

Something tugged at his stomach, but he didn't pay any mind to it. He let it get swallowed up in the abyss of his own depression. 

 

Then a thought came into his mind. A weird, brash thought. 

 

_Talk to the human._  

 

Uh, sorry what? Talk to the human, as in you? Who hated him? So much? That was laughable. 

 

Dumb thoughts like this popped into his mind semi-often. Something was screwed up in his mind. All of the sudden, he was depending on you for things, like taking away a piece of the pain. 

 

It was messed up. All of the sudden he's wanting you to fill his emptiness. All of the sudden, he's got these voices in his head saying to  _not_  wallow in self pity and depression.

It was grossing him out. 

 

That's not how the world worked. He was going to choke on his own grief and it was going to be awful, and he wasn't going to open wounds to the human who would most definetely tear them open more. 

 

_You seemed horrified at the thought of killing him._

Maybe he should get rid of the human. If he killed you, he wouldn't be having these thoughts anymore. 

 

Papyrus couldn't even let you eat your own poison when he thought you were trying to kill him. He was bluffing. He didn't have the leverage to kill you... He couldn't even if he wanted to. He could only kill you if you broke Rule #1.

 

He could take your legs if you got too eager to break Rule #3. 

 

Papyrus wondered if you'd still get upset with him when he'd tease you if he took your legs. He wondered if you would still yell at him if he'd hurt you. He wondered if you'd still kiss him if-

 

You were getting into his head. He needed it to stop. He was already hurting enough, he didn't need more shoving it's way to make room in his skull. 

 

Suddenly, Papyrus heard steps coming up the stairs. He took a shortcut to Muffet's. He didn't want to deal with you right now. 

 

Papyrus walked through the door. Muffet's was empty since it was a weird time to be at a bar. It was always much busier during the evening. Papyrus preferred it empty anyway.

 

Muffet was cleaning a glass when her eyes (all six of them) looked to Papyrus. "Papyrus?" 

 

He sat down at the bar. "Muffet."

 

She hummed, silently, before filling up a glass. "You haven't been in in a while."

 

He hadn't? He didn't notice. Papyrus dropped some money, and Muffet passed him the glass of barbeque sauce. He drank the thick liquid, the feeling being something so familiar and comforting to him. "are you upset? i was basically funding this place."

 

"I thought you were dead." Muffet was no fun to tease.

 

"me too." He dropped more money, and Muffet gave him another glass.

 

She hummed at that. 

 

And just like that, the conversation was over. That might've been one of the longest chats they ever had. Nothing like good friendship to keep you going. 

 

Papyrus took his time drinking. With nobody in the bar, it let him think. And that wasn't really a good thing. Maybe he should get himself completely wasted again, let himself black out thinking Sans was going to be so mad at him when he got home.

 

Papyrus stopped drinking, briefly. What if he came home and killed you?

 

...

 

Papyrus dropped more money on the counter. "i'm going to need alot more than this."

 

* * *

 

Papyrus woke up, his skull feeling like it was about to fall off. 

 

Stars, what time was it...? Too late.

 

He sat up, and regretted it. Not just from the blistering headache he had, but from where he was. 

 

He had fallen asleep at his brothers sentry station. 

 

_Dang it!_ That stung... 

 

Bones still littered the area around him from the last time he was there. Papyrus thought of that time. Papyrus remembered his death wish. He could almost laugh about it, it hurt so bad. 

 

Surprisingly, he was alot less suicidal now than he was before. He remembered vividly the emptiness, the  _pain._ It was intoxicating and venomous. He hurt bad now, but that day was  _so bad_.

 

And then....

 

In the blink of an eye, Papyrus was home. He had blacked out earlier. Did he do it? Did he kill you? Papyrus felt equal parts terror drop in his soul as well as... something else he couldn't place. Hope, maybe? He wondered if he would finally be free from being tethered to you only to become a slave to his own loneliness and grief. 

 

Papyrus listened to soft hums from the kitchen. You were doing the dishes. He hadn't touched you. A weight was lifted off of his soul... 

 

_He wanted to wrap his arms around your waist and cry into your shoulder._

 

And this was why he wished he had killed you. Drat... He couldn't even do it when he was drunk. 

 

He needed sleep. Without letting you know he was there, he disappeared to his mattress.

 

Papyrus collapsed on his bed, his grief and confusion dragging him down into unconsciousness. But before he dropped, he saw something by his bedside. 

 

...A mug.

 

Papyrus picked it up. He sniffed it. It looked like some chocolatey-milk drink. He drank some. It was cold. 

 

He drank all of it. 

 

Dropping the mug, he fell face first into his mattress, letting himself drift to sleep.

 

* * *

 

**_He was dead._ **

****

**_Sans was dead._ **

****

Papyrus fazed in and out of terror as those words repeated in his mind.

 

**_He was gone. He was gone. He was gone he was gone he was gone he was gone he was gone he was gone he was gone he was gone he was gone he was gone he was gone-_ **

****

He remembered having night terrors before Sans was dead. The only thing keeping him from having a full blown panic attack was the knowledge that Sans was well and alive, right next door.

 

**_Oh, stars, he really was gone._ **

****

**_Dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead DEAD DEAD DEAD DEAD DEAD DEAD DEAD-_ **

****

His thoughts were driving him mad, absolutely insane. Without noticing it, he was destroying his entire room.

 

**_He was gone he was gone he was gone he was gone he was gone he was gone he was gone he was gone HE WAS GONE HE WAS GONE HE WAS GONE HE WAS GONE HE WAS GONE HE WAS GONE HE WAS GONE HE WAS GONE HE WAS GONE HE WAS GONE HE WAS GONE-_ **

****

Papyrus scratched at his eyesockets, trying to pull himself together. But the haunting reality still existed.

 

**_SANS WAS GONE._ **

****

"Papyrus!"

 

Like an anchor jerking a boat to stop, Papyrus jumped. Suddenly, he was pulled in a tight and uncomfortable embrace. 

 

"You're okay! You're fine!"

 

**_NO I'M NOT NO I'M NOT NO I'M NOT NO I'M NOT NO I'M NOT NO I'M NOT NO I'M NOT NO I'M NOT NO I'M NOT-_ **

****

Papyrus felt his magic go haywire, as if a dangerous wire was raw and dripping with water. 

 

**_LET ME GO LET ME GO LET ME GO LET ME GO LET ME GO LET ME GO LET ME GO LET ME GO LET ME GO-_ **

****

_"_ It was a dream! You're here now!" Papyrus felt fingertips trace his skull, grounding him to reality. It was... so soft... "You're here now... You're okay..."

 

Let me go let me go let me go....

 

"You're fine... You're in your room."

 

Let me.....

 

"You're okay...  _You are okay._ "

 

Papyrus was... okay... He seemed so far from okay. He seemed so  _so_ far from okay. He was drowning. Drowning further and further and further down and down and down darker and darker and even darker. He felt fingers trace little circles on his skull. It was like... Something was reaching for him as he drowned. 

 

" _sans..."_ He couldn't help call out. "... _i-i miss you so much..._ "

 

Whatever it was that held you didn't stop. Thank the  _stars_ it didn't stop. He wouldn't be able to breath if it stopped. But instead, he took deep breaths.

 

Longer breaths....

 

Longer......

 

 

He could finally breath.....

 

* * *

 

Ouch. 

 

Papyrus's head hurt. Worse than when he was drunk. 

 

It was dark in his room, but through the shuttered blinds, he could tell it was already morning.

 

Stars, what did he take? It hurt so-

 

"Nnng...."

 

...

 

Papyrus pushed himself up. It was you. You made that noise. You were his personal pillow. He didn't mind waking up on top of you, but also why were you in his...

 

Oh.

 

_Oh. No._

 

_That_ was pathetic. 

 

Stars. Of all the things,  _you_ decided to come up to his room during one of his night terrors. Couldn't you just let him suffer? Maybe he should just kill you right now. Oh stars, he  _said his name-!_

 

Papyrus stopped when he got a closer look at you.

Papyrus caressed your arms. There were burns, from the tips of your fingers to the top of your arms. By Queen Toriel, you were such an idiot...

 

Papyrus gently traced your jawline, before he leaned into your lips, kissing you deeply as he pulled your jaw closer to his own. You tasted like oranges. The action was physical, but he meant it in pure admiration. He let your jaw fall from his grasp as he watched you. At the loss of contact, he realized he wanted to kiss you again. But he didn't, knowing the second time would be for him, not for you. 

 

Papyrus sat up, his lap straddling yours. He watched you as you shivered from the loss of heat. That was pretty cute. But he needed to dress those wounds. 

 

Taking a short cut to the bathroom, he searched for some bandages of some kind. He never used any. Having 1HP gave him the luxury of never having to dress a wound, because if he had one, he would die. Luckily, Sans had always made him keep some, just in case.

 

Something sunk in Papyrus's soul. Luckily... Heh.... It was funny how Sans preparation continued to help Papyrus past the grave. That was so like him. The thought gave him a bittersweet feeling. More bitter, than sweet, unfortunately.

 

Papyrus found the bandages. For a moment, he didn't want to use them. They were from Sans. He wanted to treasure them, safeguard them. But as he was contemplating this, you shifted on his mattress from his room, reminding him why he needed the bandages in the first place. Why Sans put them there, so to speak.

 

Papyrus sighed. The thought of giving them up hurt for a moment. But alot of things hurt at the moment. He could give up this. 

 

Papyrus took a shortcut back to you. You were still blissfully asleep, unaware of the sacrifice he was making and probably will continue to be for the rest of your miserable life. He took one of your arms and started dressing the wound.

 

... Giving you the bandages... It hurt but... felt relieving? Like snapping a dislocated shoulder back in place. That was the best way he could describe it. It was almost like-

 

You stirred in your sleep, and Papyrus froze. Don't wake up don't wake up don't- 

 

"Wh-wha-?" 

 

All at once, Papyrus grabbed a blunt bone out of nowhere and slammed it against your head. You went limp.

 

Papyrus then finished dressing your wounds, stopping his mind from wandering anymore.

 

Once he was done, he picked you up and took a shortcut to the living room. He set you down on the couch, but when he did, your hand grazed the back of his skull.

 

Papyrus rubbed the back of his skull, remembering the soft traces of your fingers soothing him into slumber... That was alot nicer than the blunt smack he hit you with. Maybe he should do something nice to make that up.

 

Papyrus left for the kitchen, scratching the back of his vertebrae. Man, doing things was hard. He'd have to take a long nap after this. Papyrus grabbed some eggs, some milk, some flour. He was able to mix and cook the ingredients with ease to make you a platter of eggs with pancakes. 

 

Papyrus set that on the table. He wondered if it would get cold. Considering how awful your cooking tasted, he was sure you wouldn't mind.

 

One last thing before Papyrus went to bed. He took a short cut to his chaotic room, wondering if it was destroyed or lost in the outlash of last night. But nope. There it was, fallen to the floor, slightly beaten and bruised but okay. A small adventure book he found at the dump earlier that week.

 

Papyrus grabbed it and took it downstairs, setting it next to your food. 

 

Finally, Papyrus went back into his room, collapsed once again on his mattress, and fell asleep for what he was begging for a dreamless sleep.


	8. The Fantasy Book

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You're really into this book...

_Yona held out her sword with all her might, magic pouring out of her heart, "You will not win, Lord Edgar!"_

_The evil Lord Edgar showcased his own horrid powers, "We shall see who wins this battle!"_

_"For my friends..." Yona said, shaking her head. "I will win for their lives!"_

_Lord Edgar threw a magic blast, which Yona narrowly dodged, while he laughed maniacally. "But you see, dear Yona... Your friends are under my control!"_

You gasped out loud. You were gripping the book as if it held the key to life within its words. You couldn't believe it! How could the evil Lord Edgar have control over all of Yona's friends?! 

 

You were getting beyond invested into this book. You hadn't put it down since you opened the old, cardstock cover. And by the heavens, it had you  _riveted_! With twists and turns, adventure, a struggle for power to save a kingdom! Whether it be the lack of entertainment you've had since falling down here or it was just a  _really_   _good_   _book_ , you didn't know. But what you did know was that with each turn of the page, your hairs would stand on end.

 

But then...

 

You closed the book. You enjoyed the fantasy, but you looked up at Papyrus's room. It had been two days, and there was no sight of Papyrus. Of course, it could have just been the poor timing, his work keeping him from being home or his naps being while you were awake. But he hadn't even come down for dinner, lunch, or breakfast...

 

It was great! You almost had a party that you didn't have to deal with the trouble that came from the skeleton! The last two days have rolled right by with ease, but the only problem being...

 

You were stuck here. You were scared to even go near the door. To be honest, you couldn't say you didn't think about what if you decided to escape rather than help Papyrus. He'd probably be fine, right?

 

You shook your head. You had no regrets. You didn't know what it was, but something was off about Papyrus. The way he would stop and stare at you with a melancholy expression, how every once in a while his breathing would go erratic, not to mention the horrible night terrors. 

 

Papyrus was an ingenius liar and actor, but you weren't stupid. Papyrus was grieving.  _Hard_. You didn't know who this Sans monster was, but for some reason they are gone. Either because they left Papyrus, or were taken away, or were dead. And Papyrus was  _desperately lonely._

Like pieces in a puzzle, it came all together after two nights ago. The reason for Papyrus not killing you, his overbearing and unrelenting rules, the weird grief-ridden trances he'd go into. Everything made more sense. And, honestly, you could use his grief to your advantage... but there were two problems.

 

Number one: Papyrus is dangerous. He could snap your neck in the blink of an eye, or an eyesocket, if he didn't need you anymore. And he probably would. Homicidal, unstable, and probably a bit crazy, you  _definetely_ couldn't hold your own against him and he'd  _definetely_ kill your face right off if you did something that seriously hurt him. Something like using his grief to escape.

 

And then the more detrimental reason...

 

Number two: You had this cursed thing called a conscience? It really sucked, and you felt like total garbage at even considering using Papyrus's broken soul to your advantage. EVEN THOUGH he's the absolute most WORST MONSTER EVER (to your limited knowledge of monsters) who is literally KEEPING YOU HERE AGAINST YOUR WILL and is a CRAZY MURDERY PSYCOPATH, your common sense doesn't seem to win over your dumb Jimminy Cricket. 

 

It's fine. You could find another way to escape without using Papyrus's depression. 

 

In the meantime....

 

_"I will release your friends, dear Yona..." Lord Edgar grinned evilly. "...For a price."_

_Yona cast her eyes to the ground._ 'How can I give in to such a terrible villain?! But... My friends...'  _Yona shook her head, throwing her sword down onto the floor. "What's your price, Lord Edgar!"_

_Lord Edgar chuckled, "Such a powerful warrior you are. Undoubtedly, able to hold your own as a mighty partner."_

_Yona furrowed her brow, "What are you trying to say?"_

_"My price, dear Yona." Lord Edgar held out his hand, "Is for you to be_ my bride."

"What?!" You exclaimed. " _No way_!!"

 

* * *

 

Dangit. It always came back to this, didn't it? 

 

It was later in the evening. You were outside Papyrus's door. Again. But you needed it. You couldn't hold back anymore. You were fine with not showering the past couple days, but  _this_? You would rather have your legs cut off than have  _this_ misfortunate fate upon you.

 

You knocked on his door. There was no answer.

 

You knocked on his door again, a little louder. "Papyrus, are you home?"

 

No answer.

 

But you knew how to summon the devil. "Great! Papyrus isn't home, that means I can break Rule #3!"

 

As you turned to the staircase, you bumped into the tall, solemn skeleton.

 

" _that isn't funny_." He hissed.

 

You looked up at him. He looked tired. Like, haven't-slept-in-3-weeks-I'm-surviving-on-coffee-and-ramen-alone-and-finals-are-tomorrow kind of tired. He didn't seem so amused at the way you decided to summon him, seeing a scowl was portrayed on his teeth and his eyelights were burning a dark purple. But the dark shadow under his eyesockets and the weariness of his bones spoke to you the lack of sleep he's had. It was, quite frankly, super sad.

 

"You look dead." You withdrew from him.

 

Papyrus grabbed your wrist harshly. " _don't make those jokes anymore. they're not funny._ "

 

"Ow! Ow ow ow!" You tried to peel his phalanges off of your wrist, but he wouldn't budge. "It wasn't a joke!"

 

" _what._ " He tightened his grip on your wrist, shooting pain up your arm.

 

"Ah!" He was scary! "No, that's not what I meant! I was just trying to get you out of room! How else was I supposed to get you out?!"

 

Papyrus squeezed tighter, and it almost brought you to tears.

 

" _Let go! AH! It hurts!!_ " You screamed, the pain on your wrist becoming close to  _unbearable._ "I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry,  _PLEASE Papyrus!_ "

 

His grip stayed.

 

" _Nngh!_ " You started to feel the pinpricks on your eyes as you scanned your mind to anything that would sedate the monster. "I promise I won't  _ever_  break Rule #3! I won't ever  _ever_  leave you! _I promise I promise!_ " Sometimes, you could lie too.

 

All at once, Papyrus let go and you gasped in the air you were holding. You brought your wrist to your chest. It was bruised...

 

"You're the worst!" You hissed at him, bringing your arm closer to your chest as you stared daggers into him.

 

He exhaled. Papyrus seemed to be  _inconvenienced_ by your hatred. Good! You hoped it was the thorn in his side for the rest of his life! "what did you want?"

 

You looked down. Now you felt upset about asking him for something. You didn't want anything  _from him._ Somehow, someway, you'd survive.

 

"Nevermind it." You pushed passed him. "Go back and hibernate for the rest of your miserable life, for all I care."

 

He grabbed your wrist again, this time softer as to not hurt you, and pulled you back in front of him. "stop acting spoiled and just tell me what you want."

 

Anger began to heat up your cheeks as you pulled your arm back. "Getting mad that you  _physically hurt me_ isn't acting  _spoiled_!"

 

"you're fine." He rolled his eyelights. He  _rolled_ his  _eyelights!_

You recoiled from him, " _You! Are! Deranged!_ "

 

"did you just call me to yell at me?"

 

You couldn't believe how nonchalant he was. He keeps bringing you to tears, he keeps hurting you, and he doesn't even bat an eyelash, or an eyesocket...

 

You hugged your arms and looked down. "Do you... Do you like hurting me?"

 

You were looking at the floor, but even with your eyes glued down you could tell the air around him changed.

 

"...do you want me to be honest?"

 

You were surprised he answered it like it wasn't a rhetorical question. But you nodded.

 

"i do." You jumped. He... liked hurting you. The very thought brought vomit in your throat. You thought you were going to throw up... "...until you get like this."

 

You paused. "...Until I get like this?" You looked up to him. He eyelights were cast to the side. "...Until I get like what?"

 

Papyrus shifted. "quiet. solemn. when you hug yourself. i hate it."

 

You shook your head. "Why?"

 

"...will you stop if i tell you?" He asked.

 

You looked at yourself. You really were hugging yourself. You let go, holding your hands in front of you. 

 

Papyrus looked at you up and down, and you brought your eyes back to him. He exhaled. "i like it when you get mad, i think it's funny. or when you get so mad you start to cry? that's really cute. but i don't like you when your personality disappears. when you exchange your hope for heartache. i... need you to not be empty."

 

"You  _need_ me to not be empty?" You asked. "Why?"

 

"stop asking questions." He said.

 

"Is it because of that night when-"

 

**_"Y/N!"_ **

 

Woah. 

 

It wasn't often he said your name, and you knew for a fact you had never heard him raise his voice before.

 

His voice echoed in the hallway. But he didn't dare bring his eyelights up to you. His fists were shaking, but then you noticed it was his whole body. 

 

You silenced yourself. But you decided you weren't going to let him scare you into complete silence. "Papyrus."

 

He didn't move, and his shaking went stagnant. You could tell he was more tense than before.

 

"Can I have the second book in this series?" You held up the paperback adventure book that you loved so much.

 

There was a moment of silence. You stared at him and he didn't move.

 

And then, he flicked you in the forehead. "i should kill you for that."

 

You laughed. You didn't even care that he flicked you. "Pfft! Haha! Please? It's so good!"

 

"do you know where i found that?"

 

You looked at it up and down. "The library? I don't know, the main characters seemed to be human, not monsters, so that's weird..."

 

Papyrus grabbed it and shoved it in your face. "the garbage."

 

You started violently hissing.


	9. Donuts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Papyrus want something other than your horrible cooking...

You handed Papyrus the plate of horribly made hamburgers and gulped. It looked so gross... maybe the grossest than you've ever made before. Apparently, your grilling skills were as bad as your cooking skills. You didn't know how you managed to pull it off, but the patty was charred black on the outside and completely raw on the inside. The buns had accidentally gotten soaked with meat juice. You put too much mustard and ketchup on it in an attempt to make it edible. And lastly, the lettuce was wilted because you forgot to ask for more lettuce earlier that week. You actually felt  _guilt_ that Papyrus had to eat it. 

 

Papyrus always, no matter how gross your cooking was, would eat your meals. All of it.

 

"I, uhm..." You watched as a Papyrus poked at it, testing to see if it was going to move. "I'm sorry."

 

"...how long have you been here?" Papyrus asked.

 

You toyed with your fingers. "Two months, maybe?"

 

"aren't you supposed to get better with practice?"

 

You hung your head in defeat. You wanted to get mad, to throw the plate in his face, make him take back those words but... HE WAS RIGHT!

 

"Uuuuuuugh..." You groaned, before grabbing your head. "Why am I so bad at this!?"

 

Papyrus snorted at that, but turned back to the meal. He picked it up, about to eat it, when you grabbed onto him.

 

"Don't eat it! You'll die!"

 

"is it poisoned?" Papyrus asked.

 

"No, worse!" You cried. "It's disgusting!"

 

"you're not wrong..." Papyrus said, as a glob of mustard fell off from the soaked food. "but i'm hungry now. what are you going to do?"

 

"Isn't there, like..." You searched your mind for an answer. "A fast food restaraunt near here? Or maybe we could get some take out or something?"

 

"hmm." Papyrus hummed for a second. "there's a diner near here."

 

"Perfect!" You clapped your hands together, before slapping the revolting burger from his hands and taking the plate in to the trash to dump it. "Let's get food from there!"

 

"what do you mean "let's"?" Papyrus asked.

 

Drat. He caught on. You set the plate in the sink, "Can I come with you?"

 

"no."

 

Tch. He was always so quick refuse you. You turned to him, your hands clasped together. "What if I stay by your side the whole time? I could hold your hand? Or if you're scared I'll be recognized, I could wear your hoodie the whole time?"

 

Papyrus stared at your gentle frame, practically begging him to let you go with him. But the prospect of leaving this heaven forsaken house even for a little bit was enough for you to throw pride out the window. 

 

Papyrus stood up and started taking off his hoodie. You had to glance away as his tank top underneath rode up, revealing his spine and a bit of his ribs... Wait. It was his  _spine._ Why would you have to glance away? He was literally a skeleton! Whatever. It was the action that made you look away, anyway. 

 

"arms up." Papyrus said, and you looked back at him. He was closer to you, his hoodie bunched up in his phalanges as if he was ready to put it on you.

 

"I'm not a child." You put your hands on your hips.

 

"do you want to leave or not?"

 

Wait... Was he serious? He was actually going to take you out? After so many rules and threats of keeping you in place, he was actually going to let you go out with him? You were screaming with excitement in your mind, but you didn't dare let out a word just in case he might change his mind. Instead, you immediately held your arms up for him to put on his hoodie, which he did. 

 

Pulling it down over your body, it was a little big on you, but you seemed to fit it well in your chest and your hips. The arms were too long though, and the torso fell just below your shorts. As soon as Papyrus's hands left you, you hugged yourself to feel the way it fit. It smelled kind of gross... and felt gross too. You kinda wanted to take it off, but you would wear a garbage can if it meant going outside. At least the fur on the hood was so soft to the touch...

 

You looked up at Papyrus. His breath had gained weight, but not in the usual weird way he would. His stare was different too, at least different from his normal weird stares. His eyelights fell on your body, bearing holes into you, a light purple dusting across his features. You tilted your head, as you realized his hands were hovering just slightly over your body. He swallowed, his breath falling heavy. And then, you realized what he was thinking when his purple tongue licked over his teeth.

 

You retracted away from him, huddling against the wall. " _St-stop thinking whatever your thinking!_ "

 

He laughed. "it looks like you're not wearing anything underneath my hoodie."

 

You didn't know whether you should pull it down to cover you more or pull it up to reveal the clothes underneath. So, instead, you just grabbed the messy pan on the stove, and held it up in defense.

 

He laughed again, before turning around. "alright, i'll be back with food."

 

"W-wait!" You set the pan down and ran to his side, grabbing his arm. "I'm coming!"

 

Papyrus poked your forehead with his sharp phalange. Ouch. "who said you were coming?"

 

You stumbled over your words, back taken by his own. " _You_  did!" 

 

"when?"

 

"When you said, "do you want to leave or not?"!" You pulled his arm tighter.

 

Prying your hands off of him, he said, "that was just a question, love."

 

You gaped.  _This jerk-!?_

You grabbed his arm and opened your jaws wide to slam on his ulna, but once again your teeth were stopped by his hands.

 

"what have i said about biting?" His fingers poked at your mouth painfully.

 

" _Oour a warhh!!_ " That was supposed to be 'You're the worst!!' but close enough.

 

He let go of your mouth, which promptly slammed shut. You tried to grab for another bone to maim, but he just grabbed your wrists and set you slowly on the couch. When you lunged to bite him again, you abruptly stopped when you felt one of his hands trail up your thigh. All of the sudden, you didn't want to be anywhere near the monster. He shifted to where he was sitting on your lap, his tongue licking his teeth again, when he leaned his body closer to yours.

 

" _sweetie..._ " You squirmed as he whispered low and smooth right in your ear. "don't try and  _bite_ me when you're wearing  _that._ i won't be able to  _stop_ myself."

 

Your face blushed so warm. You weakly tried to push him off of you as he drew little circles on your inner thighs with his phalange. 

 

"understood?"

 

You nodded.

 

" _use your words_ , love."

 

"I-I-..." You shook your head, before all at once pushing him off of you with all your strength. "I'm not your love!"

 

Papyrus snorted. "works for me." 

 

And then, in the blink of an eye he was gone. 

 

...

 

SCREW HIM!! You should have let him choke on the disgusting burger!

 

You bolted upstairs to his room. It was still disgusting in there, but you looked around for something to destroy. You shuffled through his things. There had to be SOMETHING important in there! 

 

And just like that, your prayers were answered. You couldn't see anything more fitting than this. Under his bed (which  _repulsed_ you to look under, but you were too angry to stop), you found his  _hentai collection._ And, needless to say,  _it was GROSS!_ Where'd he even get this?! Just skimming over the pages made you want to vomit. You would have to make sure you'd never let your guard down for a second if this was the kind of stuff that monster was into. Sick freak...

 

Whatever, it didn't matter. What mattered was that you started ripping all the pages into little tiny pieces. And  _wow..._ That was satisfying. You should destroy his stuff more often. As you ruined the books until they were unreadable and snapped every DVD in half, you let out a breath of air. 

 

That felt GREAT! 

 

You shoved the box back under his bed before you quickly skipped down the steps. You were sure you'd want him to find out later when you're not around rather than sooner when you are around. 

 

You overturned the couch and set the lamp down on its side to make it look like that was your emotional outburst. Then, you walked into the kitchen and plopped down on a seat, crossing your arms to look angry. 

 

After shuffled your feet as you waited. A couple minutes were passing by. You wondered briefly why he was taking so long. Maybe you should enjoy the time you had to yourself. The less time plagued by that horrid devil the better...

 

But just as you were thinking that, you heard the door open and close. You heard him sigh at the scene from the living room, but he bypassed it as he walked to the kitchen.

 

"had fun while i was gone?" Papyrus said, as he walked in. 

 

"I hope you burn to death." You hissed at him.

 

"wow. rude." He said, setting a bag down on the table. You peeked your head curiously at the smell. It smelled really good... "i guess i'll just keep this for myself, then."

 

"You lost that privilege when you lied to me!" You said, before tearing into the bag without his permission. He snickered at your eagerness, but let you do what you wanted. You pulled out...

 

Lots of donuts and some fries! They all smelled really good! They had this purple frosting that just looked divine. 

 

"Oooh," You licked your lips as you pulled out a donut and some fries for yourself. Papyrus could get his own. "It looks really good!"

 

Papyrus hummed. He took one of the strings of his hoodie that you were still wearing and started playing with it. You didn't realize you still had it on. You were about to take it off, when he stopped you.

 

"keep it on." You were about to either yell at him or question him, but Papyrus had already moved on, grabbing a donut and fries for himself. So, you just did as he asked.

 

You lifted a donut to your mouth and took a bite. "Mmmmm! That's delicious!" You said, licking the frosting off of your fingers. 

 

"you like it?" He finished the donut in three monstrous bites. You were wise to take you time.

 

"Mhmm!" You exhaled. "It's so good..."

 

"you don't think it's greasy?"

 

You grabbed a couple fries, popping them in your mouth. "Why would I think that?"

 

Papyrus looked to the side, "...no reason."

 

You rolled your eyes, before Papyrus pulled out a gross looking brown bottle from his pocket, which had been there for who knows how long. 

 

"barbeque sauce?"

 

"For my fries?" You supposed it wouldn't taste bad, if the bottle didn't look like he pulled it out of the sewer. "You're gross. No thanks."

 

He shrugged, "more for me."

 

And like straight out of your worst nightmares, he started  _drinking_  the barbeque sauce. You gagged.

 

"Eeww!" You recoiled. "What is wrong with you?!"

 

He laughed at your reaction, before taking another chug.

 

"Yuck yuck yuck yuck!" You shook your head. "You're going to make me lose my appetite!"

 

"really?" Papyrus reached for your donut. "i'll take it."

 

You slapped his hand off of your food, "Mine."

 

Papyrus laughed again, leaning his skull on his hand as he looked at you intently. "Heheh, selfish girl..."

 

You narrowed your eyes at him. He seemed to insult you... affectionately. The two worst things coming from him. 

 

You ignored his stare as you devoured the rest of the food that was in front of you, savoring the sweetness of the donuts and the saltiness of the fries. Wow, you didn't realize how much you hated your own cooking. You should get Papyrus to bring pre-made food more often. Licking up the last of the crumbs, you enjoyed your last pieces of donut before leaning back and letting out a content sigh.

 

"That was good." You stretched your arms above you, Papyrus's jacket falling to your elbows.

 

Papyrus hummed in agreement. He finished long before you, and settled for watching you eat after he was done.

 

"What if?" You winked at Papyrus. "We did this once a week?"

 

Papyrus hummed again, this time more out of interest, "once a week? think i'm made of money?"

 

"Well, if maybe you  _told_  me a little about what you do, I would know what's in your budget." You rolled your eyes.

 

"you wanna know my job?" 

 

You almost corrected him that you were just trying to be sassy, but your curiosity stopped you. What  _did_  he do for work? Surely, it had to be something a lazy slug like he could do... But what it could be? You didn't know. So you nodded. 

 

In the most nonchalant and easy voice, he said, "it's my job to find humans and kill them."

 

You stopped.

 

"You... hunt humans for a living?"

 

"yep." He leaned back in his chair.

 

You started to sweat. 

 

"relax, dear." His voice seemed to wash bit of relief over you. "if i wanted to turn your head in for money, i would've done it two months ago."

 

You still let out a shakey breath. "Uhm... Thanks, I guess..."

 

"you're welcome." He made it sound like he was doing you a favor by not killing you. You wanted to throw something at his head.

 

Instead, you just settled for asking, "So, uhm, why?"

 

"hmm?"

 

"Why didn't you kill me?" You toiled your fingers. You didn't know if it was too invading to ask him that, but you did anyway.

 

"..." He looked to the side, "so you want muffet's once a week, huh?"

 

You stared at him, annoyed at his obvious change of subject. But then you realized he was talking about the food, and you'd much rather have these donuts every week than find out what was churning in that skull of his. "Yes, please!"

 

He tapped a finger on his jaw in thought, "i guess i could spare a couple g for a decent meal once a week... what are you going to do for me?"

 

You squinted at him. There was always a catch. "Don't you want "Muffet's", too?"

 

"yeah, actually." He drew circles in the table. "but buying for one is a lot less then buying for two."

 

You exhaled exaggeratedly, "What do you want?"

 

Papyrus leaned on the table. "will you read your book to me at night?"

 

"You want me to read to you?" You scrunched up your nose. "Like, you want a bedtime story?"

 

"yep." 

 

His tone was steady and his gaze into your eyes unmoving. You considered there must be a catch. There's no way he'd ask you for something so simple. But the look in Papyrus's eyelights told you otherwise. 

 

So you shrugged and said, "That's fine with me. But I'm not going into your gross room to read to you, if that's what you're thinking. I'll read to you on the couch."

 

He leaned on his hand, "works for me."

 

You stood up and picked all the garbage up off of the table to throw away. "And I'm starting from the first book."

 

"you can start from where you're at, i don't mind."

 

"No." You said, firmly, dumping the garbage. "We have to start from the beginning. It'll be too confusing, you don't even know about Yona's secret powers!"

 

Papyrus snorted. "Yona's secret powers?"

 

You dusted your hands, "Yeah! Because you think she's an ordinary girl when you first meet her, but actually what you don't know is that she-... Well, actually those are spoilers I won't tell you that. But it's starts off with Yona just being a normal girl who goes to school, and she has two childhood friends where one of them is this girl who's so sweet and nice and the other is this really tall guy who tries his best and stuff. And what happens is they find this old book from the library and, when they open it, they're sucked into this new world where-"

 

You heard soft snoring from Papyrus.

 

"Papyrus!" You stomped, and it seemed to rose him. "You weren't even listening!"

 

"heheh..." He was resting his skull in his folded arms. "sorry, m'l- !"

 

He stopped, shocked by his own words as he sat up straight. You jolted at his sudden change of attitude. You wondered what could've put him on edge so quickly... Also, was he just about to call you M'Lady??

 

"i... am going to my room." He said, his voice failing him as if he had just seen a ghost.

 

"O-Okay..." You said, nervously, as he stood. "Would you like me to come get you when I'm about to retire? To read?"

 

"..." He thought for a moment. "...yes. please."

 

There's that word again. But Papyrus turned and left without another one, leaving you to wonder about the strange monster...

 

Wait, you still had his hoodie!


	10. Your Touch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You get curious, and so does Papyrus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is probably the most physical thing I've ever written in my life... I promise it wasn't supposed to be this physical, that just kind of happened.

"  _"But Yona! You can't go on your own!" Payton said, vigor in his voice. "You're our friend, and we want to protect you, too!"_

_"Payton's right, Yona!" Said Sue. "I don't want anything bad to happen_ _to you... It would break my heart!"_

_"...Friends..." Yona said, the pain in her voice.-_ "

 

As you read aloud you noticed Papyrus was far past asleep. You didn't know how, though. Honestly, it was so riveting! You almost got to the part where Lord Edgar shows down with Yona! But... Papyrus was fast asleep.

 

With a sigh, you set the book down. You were sitting on one end of the couch, while Papyrus was sleeping on the other, sitting up with his skull propped up by his resting hand. It was a little annoying that he wasn't paying attention, especially since the book was so exciting, but you found out quickly the only reason he wanted you to read was to help him sleep.

 

His breathing was slow and deep. You wondered what he'd dream about...

 

Then you remembered what he probably was dreaming about. This  _Sans_ monster. You prayed, for his sake and your own, that they were pleasant dreams. 

 

You tilted your head. You realized you had never been able to get so close to Papyrus without his piercing eyelights making your cheeks flush bright colors and your head turn away. Except for maybe that time you tried to seduce him or when he threatened your life, but you had an objective in mind those times, and thus were distracted. Now, you didn't have any distractions.

 

You crawled closer to him, very carefully. You prepared yourself to jump back in case he woke up. As you got closer, you noticed the dingy color of his bones. They weren't quite cream, but they definitely didn't look healthy. His bones structure was so sleek and sharp, his jawline looking like it could slice your finger. You took a closer look at his teeth, specifically his gold tooth. It looked like the original tooth had been knocked out... The urge to trace your fingers over the cracked bone above his gold tooth arose...

 

How sneaky were you?

 

Very sneaky.

 

You let your fingers gently caress his jawline. It really was sharp... if you weren't careful, you might bleed. You used your thumb to feel over the cracked bone. It was jagged, but dulled, as if time and use had softened the edge. You wondered how the gold tooth was able to stay in place...

 

You blinked. You couldn't hear him breathing anymore. That was weird... You waited to see if he would stir, but he didn't. Still asleep then?

 

You wondered how much farther you could go. You always wondered how he could breath. It didn't look like he had any lungs... but, then again, you never checked.

 

You put your ear against his ribcage, before you blinked in surprise. You heard a beat... It was weak. A shallow thrum, almost as if it hurt to give off the rhythmic drum. It didn't quite sound like a heart beat. It echoed and the beat was deeper than the sound of blood pumping through your veins. But each little thrum seemed to cry out in pain, squeaking as if begging for mercy...

 

You felt Papyrus's ribcage get warmer, but he didn't stir, so you assumed he was still asleep.

 

You puzzled over what could be making the beat. You first checked down his tank top, seeing if you could spy inside his ribcage from there. But alas, nothing was able to be seen past his ribcage, clavicle, and sternum. You looked back to Papyrus. You half expected him to be staring at you, his eyelights bright purple in amusement and making some comment that you touched him without his consent while he was sleeping. Instead, his eyesockets were closed, though his breathing was still. 

 

Well, you weren't going to quit just yet. You took the bottom of his tank top, and slowly rolled it up, revealing his spine and ribs. You noticed the sudden stillness from Papyrus, as if his breathing stopped, and you froze, looking back up at him. He didn't move, though, and his eyesockets stayed shut. 

 

You couldn't believe you actually pulled that off... You thought it was interesting that if you opened the front door, he'd be there in the blink of an eye, but rolling up his tank top did nothing to stir the monster. 

 

You looked back at his ribcage. They were the same unhealthy color of his skull. You noticed the more you stared the more they seemed to be heated a light shade of purple, as if it were a blush. You almost touched them to see if they were as warm as they looked, but decided against it. You were curious, yes, but you didn't want to get burned. And you didn't know when you were taking it too far, considering he was just, well,  _bones._

You tilted your head as a light beneath his ribcage caught your attention. Peeking through his ribs, you saw what was causing the weak beat. 

 

A... Heart...?

 

It didn't look like an actual human heart. It looked like the  _shape_  of a heart, yet... It looked shriveled. Cracked. Abused. It was dimmed around the edges, the center giving off a weak, struggling white light. And not betraying the pathetic sound of the beat, the heart looked as if each thrum was exhausting. Like it was too much effort to keep beating. Yet... It still beat, aching and hurting.

 

You wanted... to cheer it on...

 

The light was mesmerizing, and you longed to hold the heart. Caress it. Tell it that everything was going to be okay. Without thinking, you reached out under the ribcage to hold the weak heart-

 

A strong, boney hand grabbed your wrist faster than you could blink. "why are you touching me?" 

 

" _Hrk-_!" You looked up at him sheepishly. Busted... He was staring at you, expression unreadable. He had an amazing poker face...

 

"well?" 

 

"Uhm..." You tried to pull your arm back, but he wouldn't let go. So instead, you sat up, his grip still iron on your arm. "This isn't what it looks like?"

 

Papyrus rolled his tank top back down, a grin playing on his features. "so you're telling me you didn't touch me without my consent while I was sleeping?"

 

You knew he was going to say that... and right on que, amused light purple eyelights. "Okay, so maybe I did... but it wasn't because I was trying to hurt you or anything!"

 

"honestly, y/n." He tut his tongue, leaning closer to you. "taking advantage of a sleeping monster by touching his most  _sensitive_  bones while he can't even defend himself..."

 

You pushed him back, "I was just curious! How do you breath?! How do you eat?! You're just made of bones!"

 

He licked his teeth with his long, purple tongue, "magic."

 

" _That's not an answer!_ " You hissed.

 

Papyrus leaned closer to you, probing at your stomach. You started to blush at his closeness as he began angling over you on the couch. "i could ask the same question to you, human... i've never been able to figure out how you humans work without eating monster food. you survive without magic through your viens... should i poke and prod at your most  _intimate parts_ to see how you work?"

 

"Sure."

 

"..." Papyrus blinked. "what?"

 

You scooted back from him, sitting up. "Well, it's only fair. If I can look at you closer, then you should be able to look at me closer, right?"

 

"...are you serious?" Papyrus didn't seem to believe you.

 

"Why not?" You said. "You can ask me any question, or look anywhere save for under my underwear."

 

"..." Papyrus eyed you, distrust in eyelights.

 

You rolled your eyes. This monster will tease you all day, but the moment you're open, he closed up. "How about this? I get to look at you closer first and ask you questions first, then you can do me?"

 

Papyrus' eyelights look to the side. He seemed to be debating something. Eventually, he shrugged. "i'm an open book, love."

 

"I'm not your love." You absentmindedly said as you rolled his tank top back up. The sudden action startled him for just a moment, but he didn't react other than that. "How do your bones move?"

 

"i told you, magic." Papyrus's droned voice rumbled.

 

"Is that like nutrients for monsters?"

 

"not really." He said.

 

"Then what is it like?" You looked for any glowing purple organs like his tongue, but you could find none.

 

"i don't know." 

 

You squinted at him, "You're the worst at answering questions."

 

Papyrus grinned and shrugged. 

 

"Your spine and ribs look warm, why?"

 

Papyrus looked to the side, "...want to feel for yourself?"

 

"Is it going to hurt?"

 

"hurt? why would it..." Papyrus stopped as you stared at him. He scanned your expression as he seemed to read your mind. 

 

_Purple bones littered across his room, filled with electricity hot enough to burn your skin._

"...it won't hurt you." He said, simply. "if anything it'll just make me..."

 

"Make you...?" You tried to scan his own expression. Looking to the side, he didn't hold your gaze, but his expression told you nothing. It wasn't until you repeated the context back in your mind that your eyes narrowed at him. "Wait... Are they for...?" You flushed a bright red color.

 

Papyrus grinned at you, "smart girl."

 

You smacked his chest, "You were going to let me touch your spine!" Your outrage just made him laugh. "You're despicable..."

 

Despite this, your curiosity didn't let you stop.

 

You lifted his arm, "Do you have any other glowing purple appendages? Like your tongue?"

 

"just one."

 

"Really? What..." You blushed when you saw his grin widen at you. You had a feeling you knew what it was. "Never mind."

 

"are you sure? i could show-"

 

"I said nothing under the underwear." You hissed. "That goes for you, too."

 

"fair enough, lov-!"

 

You held his cheekbones, and he stopped at your sudden closeness. As suspected, a light purple dusted his cheekbones. "Is the purple on your cheeckbones you blushing?"

 

"you're annoying." He growled. Nice. Got him.

 

"Can I poke your eyesockets or would that hurt?" 

 

"only if i can poke your eyes."

 

You cringed at the thought, and that made Papyrus snicker. "Nevermind. I just have one more question..."

 

You sat back down, and pointed to his chest.

 

"What is that?"

 

And for the first time, Papyrus's blush began to be very apparent. You could swear you even saw him sweating. He didn't seem to want to answer. You looked up at him, but he refused to look at you, his eyelights glued to whatever was so interesting with the wall beside the two of you. His teeth were grated together, as if to shut off any words he might regret. 

 

You put a hand on his. This seemed to bring his eyelights back to yours. You stared into his eyesockets, wondering what in this heaven-forsaken underground could've caused him to become so shy when he was so open about other things...

 

"You don't have to-" 

 

"it's my..." He cut you off, before swallowing his nonexistent throat. "...soul."

 

Your eyes dragged back to the heart beneath his rib cage. "Your soul?" You tried to look at it through his ribs. "Can I see it closer?"

 

"can i see yours?"

 

"Yes."

 

With a snap of his fingers, his soul was in front of his ribcage, which slowly descended until it was floating right above your hands.

 

Bruised, beaten, tortured. It looked even worse passed his ribcage. The light it gave off was as weak as it's beat, and it looked like it could fall apart any second from its own fragility. 

 

You looked to Papyrus. He couldn't bare to look back at you. His soul... seemed to be a sore subject for him... You wanted to ask why it looked so pitiful, but you supposed that would only hurt him more. So instead, you looked back to the dingy thing.

 

"It's beautiful..." Your voice hummed.

 

And in the blink of an eye, his soul was gone, and Papyrus pulled his tank top down.

 

" _are you done_?" He growled beneath his teeth. At first you wondered what made him so upset... before you realized he wasn't upset because he was angry.

 

He was upset because he was embarrassed.

 

Whoa. This was new. You were being genuine, you didn't  _mean_ to fluster him. You supposed that souls must've been an extremely intimate and personal topic amongst monsters. Especially considering it was so kill or be killed down here... You were sure it wasn't a common thing to talk about, and trust like showing the very culmination of your being wasn't a common thing to give out. You decided you shouldn't ask anything more, considering how upset Papyrus seemed...

 

"I'm done." You said. "You can do me now."

 

Papyrus seemed to pause at that, returning to his monotonous self, before he shifted closer to you.

 

"open your mouth." 

 

You did as you were told, and he probed at your teeth, feeling them each individually.

 

"...they're dull." He hummed. Papyrus felt your tongue through his fingers, before he pushed it down to look down your throat. He tried to feel further back, when your gag reflex kicked in. Papyrus pulled back and you coughed.

 

"Y-You're gonna make me vomit, geez..."

 

Papyrus hummed in amusement, before tilted your head completely to the side and looking at your ear. He blew a gust of air in your ear and you shook your head.

 

"That feels weird!"

 

"how do you think i was feeling?" He said, before he pause. "can you feel it?"

 

"What?"

 

"can you feel it in your head?"

 

You scoffed. "No, it just feels weird."

 

"huh..." 

 

He poked at your closed eyes, before moving down to your collar. He started to slide off your tank top, which you noticed how surprised he was when you let him. A light purple flushed over his cheekbones and a purple tongue ran over his teeth as he tried to mess with your bra, but you stopped him.

 

"Bra counts as underwear." You glared at him, and he laughed.

 

"come on, since when?" 

 

"Since always." You crossed your arms. "Don't get too handsy."

 

"heheh... if you insist..."

 

Papyrus uncrossed your arms and started massaging your ribs. You started to tense. You were a little ticklish there... But you refused to let him know any of your weaknesses. 

 

"that's so..." He mumbled to himself, before feeling your diaphragm. Finally he reached your belly button, tracing circles around it. "why don't you need magic?"

 

"I don't know." You said, "We just need food."

 

"how many organs do you have?"

 

"Uhm..." You tried to count in your brain. "Twentyish maybe? I don't know, I never counted..."

 

"wow. impressive."

 

"Shut up!" You exclaimed, before you gasped as he squeezed your stomach. You held your breath, trying not to laugh.

 

"..." Papyrus grinned, "are you ticklish, y/n?"

 

"I don't have to answer any question that I don't  _AH_ -!" You reflexively grabbed onto Papyrus as he squeezed your stomach again. 

 

"good to know for future reference..."

 

You growled, but then notice Papyrus looking intensely at your chest. He seemed deep in thought, and then you realized what he wanted. 

 

"I don't know how to bring out my soul." You told him. "Can you do it for me?"

 

Papyrus looked back into your eyes, almost as if he didn't believe you were actually letting him do this to you. But, finally, he closed his eyes and snapped his fingers.

 

As if the wind left your lungs, you felt something being pulled from your body. You looked down. It was a heart...  _your_  heart... your soul... And Papyrus looked at it as if it was a passing interested, though the spark in his eyelights told you differently.

 

Your soul was different than Papyrus's. It looked healthy. Bright. The beat it gave off was full and rhythmic, almost as if it was proud of its own beat. And, unlike Papyrus's, it had color. Bright and vibrant. You were almost mesmerized by its warmth.

 

"That's mine?"

 

"...no monster has brought out your soul before?"

 

You shook your head. "I always run away from monsters..."

 

Papyrus hummed at that.

 

He felt the air around your soul, but he kept glancing up at you. You wondered what his thoughts were, before you said.

 

"You can touch it if you want?"

 

Papyrus laughed, short and curt. "you don't know much about souls, do ya, love?"

 

You tilted your head, and he shook his own.

 

"you don't want me to touch it, sweets." He said, and with a snap of his fingers, your soul returned to your own body. 

 

"Why not?" You asked.

 

"do you want to belong to me?" He looked at you intently, and the suddenness of the question brought a flush to your cheeks. To  _belong_ to Papyrus? To belong to anyone made you pale! Let alone someone so  _horrible!_

 

" _N-never_!" You said, loud and abruptly.

 

Papyrus laughed at that. "then you don't want my claws around your soul. if you let me hold it, i won't give it back."

 

You held your chest. You honestly didn't get the intimacy of souls and what it really meant, but you thought back on when Papyrus offered his soul to you for even just a moment. You guessed he did it out of pride, trying to not let you know that he didn't actually want you to see it. Wanted to show he had nothing to hide. That those scars on his soul didn't actually hurt him. 

 

"Do you want to belong to me?" You didn't realize you asked the question until it rolled off your tongue. You wondered for a second why you would ask that? But you were a little curious at the blush that crossed his features.

 

Papyrus blinked. He stared at you for a second, surprised you would ask his question back at him. Finally, after a breath or two, he ran his phalanges through your hair, before he pushed your head against his teeth in a mock kiss.

 

"never."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like to think that Papyrus is emotionally guarded, and his soul is the essence of his emotion.

**Author's Note:**

> Man, Papy, you're bumming me out.


End file.
